Freedom

So then in the idea of being free and creative. what makes me free? is it my creativity? or does my freedom make me creative? I constantly find myself searching for ways in which to be free. My current favorite it seems is to break insignificant social law, or rules. You might not believe the extreme enjoyment I get out of breaking these retarded rules. In high school I did this by the way I dressed. At Trinity we had a very strict dress code, Dress shoes, Dress Socks, Dress Pants, Dress Shirt, a tie, and hair off the bottom of the collar, those were the basic guideline of how I dressed. For the first two years I went with the norm everyday, boring ass clothes. Then Junior year I discovered an ounce of freedom in our dress code by the fact that it was so unspecific. it started with neon dress socks and moved on to the neon shoes laces, there was nothing in the books about colors, eventually I grew more bold and with this growth began to re-experience the sacrifices that come with originality. I began to shop at goodwill and found pants with "outrageous" colors and styes, such as Kelly green, tight double-knit turquoise and black pants, orange pants etc. (Not pink as that was already a fad) I found that I received most resistance with the tighter pants that I enjoyed wearing. I received many negative comments for those, I believe they took it upon themselves as a challenge to their manhood so they felt compelled to hold their hands up to their eyes when I walked by saying "cover that shit up" because god forbid they might see the shape of my body outlined in my clothes. I do not take any of these remarks personally however and do not blame the individuals, instead I blame society as an entity for it is what controls them. I know them individually and know that they are actually much more mature and accepting than this text makes them out to be, many of them went on senior retreat with me and were very outstanding people with high moral character. But the current of the social rivers are very strong and prevent good people from being themselves and I believe this cannot be changed and for this I feel no regret, and no offense for my choices in dress or the reactions they cause. but I did get an exhilarating feeling of freedom because I have proven to myself and noone else, that I can wear what society tells me I can't. This is a powerful feeling because if I can do this then surely I can do more. It gives me strength to stand up to my fears in the name of what is right to do. I highly recommend breaking all the dumb rules you can, the rules that honestly don't affect anyone that is, don't get anyone hurt or steal or put yourself in danger but do things such as picking the number thirteen and breaking superstitions, cross dressing, actually expressing your emotions(*gasp*), shave (or don't) what you feel like, when you feel like it, the way you like it, there are countless others which I encourage you to find. know I'm not the first to say all this, but you need to do it or maybe you don't, I should rephrase that, I needed and still need to do it and it's possible that you are like me in some way and need some of the same things.