Monday, March 8, 2010

Two Poem Drafts

Here are two poems I've got in the works. Would love some feedback and well thought-out criticisms!

This first one probably won't change much.

Title: I'm sorry, but I loathe the Falsehood of your Face

The man,
who would consider art a trivial thing
is nothing more than a Sophomore.

He fails to see that
he is only mocking himself,
and that:
We laugh at him.
We disarm him.
As he naïvely forgoes his strength,
we sap his potency.

His life is wasted -
and there are no tears for him.
For the true tragedy
occurred years ago,
when he ended his life.


Title: When you open that Door

Even in the city
a sweet fragrance drifts in.

So different,
I had forgotten -
locked in all winter
where have you been?

Oh, I beg
don't leave me this year!
But I know that you will.

The wheel always turns
and Death saves us all.