Complicated

While I was driving home today the song "complicated" by Avril Lavigne came on. This song brought back some memories and then spurred some thoughts. I was remembering back around the time that song came out I was redefining and rediscovering who I was. In the craziness of 6th through 9th grade I had lost who I was and just basically became a person wearing a shell of other people's roles/identities. But, none of these Identities fit me, because they weren't me. I however, never noticed myself slipping away and becoming nothing until I was struck by a band called AFI. They woke me up and let me see what had happened to me. At that point I began trying to find what I had lost. I remembered being happy, I remembered when the crowd didn't matter, and I wanted it back. I wanted it back desperately. I tried on all of the rebellious trends which were all dead ends.

When the Lavigne song came out I was amidst a punk-goth phase that allowed me to have freedom for about two weeks before trapping me within yet another restrictive norm. regardless, I remember liking the song but all the "true" rebels didn't like her because she dressed punk but didn't sing it. At the time this made perfect since to me so I stopped liking her because it was the rebel thing, the me thing to do. How dumb is that! I see two sides to this either 1. the industry was using her as a way to monetize the punk look to pull wannabes into buying their products or 2. she was an honest artist who just dressed the way she wanted and didn't let her self fall into the norm, didn't let people tell her that if she wants to dress a certain way that she has to be a certain way. If the latter is true(which as far as I'm concerned has just as likely a chance) then the "rebels" and the "punks" should have hailed her as their new God even though they didn't like her music, because what's behind the music is so much more important(This means the intention not the lyrics necessarily) Unfortunately though, they got caught in their own web of hypocrisy. Just like pretty much everyone does.

I hate hypocrisy. However, I can find no cure or solution for it. For me or anyone else alive. I believe the reason for this is that our lives and existences and "beliefs" and fallibilities all combined have become much to complex in modern society for us to truly get a grasp on. This then leads us to hypocrisy because we are blind in our action to our speech, and blind in our speech to our action. Kind of like opposing shores on a very large and foggy lake. You can walk around the lake and concentrate on certain parts, but you can't see across to the other side to make sure it is going to work with what is over there. Why did we have to go and make things so complicated?