In third grade I was diagnosed with ADHD. I was put on medication and told that my brain was broken. Recently I have discovered that my ADHD is my most important talent. Good thing I stopped taking the medicine! (Please note, some people do have ADHD so bad that they WILL need medication for things like driving, etc but I still believe these people should spend periods of time off medication)
This essay is primarily aimed towards people with ADD or ADHD (and parents who have just discovered that their children have it) who have been told their entire lives that they are somehow handicapped, but the ideas and techniques here can be put to EXCELLENT use by ANYONE. ADD/ADHD is simply a classification for people whose minds make associations faster than average and cause distraction when trying to complete day to day tasks. Everyone's mind does this to a degree (Which is why these techniques will work for anyone) it is simply so extreme with ADD/ADHD people that it causes severe distraction. This distraction causes the person to have extra difficulty in a traditional learning environment. Unfortunately we have managed to completely ignore the amazing benefits that also come with ADD. Instead of embracing the child's differences (aka TALENTS, all talents have a trade-off) we suppress them and then are surprised when they don't excel. Here I explain why our view of this "disorder" is effectively helping us to destroy ourselves.
Basically, our society has deemed thinking too fast a "disorder." ADD/ADHD should not be treated with pharmaceuticals except in the most extreme cases. If you have ADD or ADHD it DOES NOT mean that there is something wrong with you!
It means that you were born to be a thinker.
Be proud of this. You will be faced with difficulties that many other people do not, but the benefits are fantastic. However, you WILL have to train yourself (or your children) in order to take advantage of these benefits.
Your mind works a little differently than what society calls "normal." You cannot stop your mind from thinking at ridiculous speeds. Yes, this will make it difficult to concentrate on what you are "supposed" to be and you will have to learn to cope with this. But take a minute and THINK about what is happening here: Your "problem" is that while you are experiencing something your mind begins to automatically make thousands of associations at an alarming rate and yes it can be a bit distracting. However, if you are able to hone this amazing ability a little bit it means that you can use your mind to create new connections much faster than "normal" people. Because you can make these connections faster it is more likely that you will make connections no one else has ever made because you won't need as much time to realize them.
The awesome part is that this all happens AUTOMATICALLY! With the right technique training you can put your mind almost on auto-pilot for solving problems and discovering new ideas.
The first thing you must learn is how to capture these ideas as fast as you think of them without interrupting the process. Until a better technique comes along I suggest developing shorthand and learning how to write extremely fast (I'll be developing and posting techniques for both of these). Always carry a notebook with you. As ideas and solutions magically appear in your mind, attempt to capture the framework of each one. Later, you will use this framework to fill in the gaps and re-build the idea from your notes. (When re-building you should be able to use the other amazing ADD/ADHD specific ability: hyperfocusing, to really develop it further) You do not have time to write the entire idea as you originally think it or you will slow down your mind and miss hundreds of others that you may never have the opportunity to think of again.
When you first start to do this (especially if at a young age) the ideas you have may not exactly be genius, but as you progress through life you will come to understand more. More understanding makes your mind far more powerful. The more powerful your mind, the more genius your ideas will become and these new ideas will build understanding.
The more ideas you capture,
The more you will understand.
The more you understand,
The more ideas you will have.
Start now! Just write down all the little ideas that pop into your mind throughout the day. You will be surprised at what you come up with.
Always trust yourself. If an idea feels important then it IS important, at least for your understanding. Attempt to prioritize, write down what feels most important first.
Reading intellectually stimulating writing is an important part of this process because it has a high concentration of good ideas that someone has already thought of. This will provide inspiration and help you build a knowledge base for your mind to use for idea creation. If your knowledge base is not in line with reality, then neither will your ideas be. Think of this as tuning your mind to resonate with reality. Because of this you must be somewhat selective in what you read, especially in the beginning. Tune your mind by reading material that is well supported. But remember to always question and think about what you read! That is the point of all of this. Also, for beneficial growth you must have the courage to say what you think and believe. Talk to people about your ideas, share with them. The right people will help you to come to further understanding. However, again be careful because the wrong people will doubt you and reject your theories without thinking about them. These people are called "idiots." Idiots do not think, they listen to whatever they are told first, believe it and deny anything else. Idiots will do everything they can to prevent humanity from making any progress whatsoever. Ignore what the idiot says, but do not ignore the idiot. Teach them how to not be an idiot; this is your responsibility as a non-idiot. Do not be harsh, do not be cruel, do not be condescending; just inspire.
Art is another place to find inspiration and ideas. Learn how to understand art (I will be writing about this very soon). The fantastic thing about art is that it is almost impossible for it to skew your knowledge base because art is truth. Unlike regular written word, art itself cannot reveal falsities. This does not mean that you cannot come up with false conclusions after being inspired but that you can't really pick the wrong art to find inspiration. Choose whatever you are drawn to.
There are a few pitfalls you must be careful of: not paying attention to what people say and interrupting people during a conversation. You should work hard to correct these two downsides of ADD/ADHD. It takes discipline but you are capable. This is simply a part of treating people with respect. If you cannot communicate with people then anything you discover is worthless because you cannot share it with humanity. I will be writing more on the subject of clear communication in the future.
I am also working on a technique for memorizing these ideas you have. With this you will not be limited by anything except the speed of your mind and remember that having an amazingly fast mind is what you have been told is your problem. . .
When the world realizes this, they are going to all wish they could be like you.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
A Little Dream Magic to Improve Motivation and Solve Your Problems (Why do we dream?)
This is a technique that I came up with today. I was speaking to my close friend, trying to help her address a personal issue. She told me that she had been thinking about it yesterday and that she assumed she would feel better today but when today came she only felt worse. I thought, and said "Well, if you think about something all day, you are bound to think about it when you sleep." She had been thinking about something upsetting all day long and felt lethargic and depressed the next morning as a result!
From this thought I developed the following technique for improving your optimism and motivation in life as well as solving all of your problems and achieving your dreams (Pretty much)
For about 15 minutes before you go to bed every night do the following thinking:
First concentrate on all of the positive things in your life. Feel thankful for every little thing that you have. Do this for about five minutes.
Next, consider all of your aspirations and dreams. No matter how extreme they are, fill yourself with hope. Visualize yourself achieving these goals. Do this for about five minutes.
Third, think about the problems/difficulties you are facing in your life or any questions you have that you are struggling with. Consider possible solutions in as hopeful a manner as possible. Now tell yourself that everything will turn out for the best and believe it, have confidence. Reassure yourself that you are capable and that the answers will come with time. Do this for about five minutes.
Concentrate finally on a sense of peace and hope, fall asleep with this feeling
Theory:
This will serve several purposes:
1) Your mind will also work on your problem, when you wake up you may have the answer! Even if you don't quite have the answer, you WILL be closer to understanding. Science has proven that thinking about problems before going to sleep helps your mind to solve them.2) Visualization has long been taught as a step to success. By visualizing what you want you are focusing your mind on the things you care most about doing. So your brain will be thinking all night figuring out ways to make it possible!!!3) Your brain will continue to think in this positive manner while growing overnight, ingraining optimism and motivation into your brain's pattern. Note that your brain's pattern is also referred to as YOU.4) We know from experience that thinking about something bad before sleeping makes you feel bad the next day.5) Relaxing and thinking relaxing, comforting thoughts will help you to fall asleep quickly and restlessly
Notice the first three. This technique will help you: develop the solutions to your problems, find the path to your dreams and give you the motivation to implement both!!!
This technique will help you to achieve your dreams. Perhaps whatever force which is guiding us taught us to take advantage of these facts by teaching us prayer?
I believe that if we have an intelligent creator this may be the REASON that we dream. It provides us with a way to program our desires into our subconscious mind in order to actualize them.
Changing your mind is the first step to changing your world. Take the step. Now!
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Explaining tough subjects to children
There are two things I would like for you to keep in mind as you read this essay.
1) What I am saying here is inspired by ideas I had while reading an amazing book about learning to play piano. The chapter talks about Post-Practice Improvement. It can be found for free (legally) here: http://www.pianofundamentals.com/book/en/1.II.15
I have no formal education in child psychology. I took a good psychology class in high school, I think and read about things a lot, Being a student I have practiced some learning techniques myself, people and IQ tests tell me that I am smart and I almost have an engineering degree(with decent grades). These are just about my only credentials. I believe that the author of that book knows what he was talking about, as the techniques in his book are brilliant and the structure of the book is excellent. Based on his account he is well educated.
2) In this essay I am talking about experimental techniques for teaching children about life and the world while training them how to learn in the most effective manner. I think in many people's minds that this will conjure up images of children being monitored in rooms all day in some white building but that is not what this is at all. These children would be with their families in a very loving environment. These methods would not interfere with the day to day life of the child and rather ought to improve it by helping them to learn efficiently, leaving more time for other things. Imagine not a hospital, but a warm family room with a loving parent feeding the thirst of a curious child. (I say feeding because quenching implies that the curiosity goes a way, when in fact it likely will grow when learning is presented in a fun and positive manner. Think Faust without the evil involvement)
I am writing about this in a rather mechanical way, but this would NOT be a mechanical environment. We are avoiding that and attempting to embrace and work together with our own nature.
Perhaps you can take advantage of the way that the mind learns to help explain complex topics to children. When a child comes to you with a question to which the answer is very complecated or difficult for the child to comprehend work with the physiological growth. Begin to introduce the concepts in simple language. Break them up into small bits and present them in as linear a fashion as possible. If your child seems to understand, continue until she/he does not, or is having much difficulty with the concept(when the rate of return has significantly decreased.). Now is when you are actually teaching the child something new. Up until this point you were making simple connections in the child's mind by helping them reorganize concepts that they already can grasp. You must keep the explanation of new information pretty short (From my source of information, probably within 10 minutes. The 10 minutes really shouldn't be a measure of the length of the conversation but the length of time spent actually trying to understand a new, previously not understood concept. This means a max of 10 minutes of saying things that the child doesn't understand. As long as the child understands, you can talk as much as you want. The difficulty comes, in determining when exactly this is happening. It needs to be studied.). If you reach this "time limit" stop explaining. After you stop (either because of time or lack of understanding) ask the child to think about it again later, before they go to sleep (remind them when you send them off or tuck them in) and tell them that you can talk about it again the next day or the day after. Give them some kind of prompt, something to help stimulate their mind and lead them in the right direction a question of some sort would probably do very well.
A mind can only handle so much new learning at a time. Once the novel stimuli has been experienced, growth begins in the mind. This growth has to happen over time. So you stimulate them and get them thinking in the right direction. Then you stop and allow their mind to take it in and grow overnight. During the follow-up the child should have come to some sort of a conclusion. Review this with the child and see if they can better understand the issue. Correct their hypothesis if nessecary but not by just telling them they are wrong. Show them why they are wrong. Basically you just repeat this process. Help them to gradually learn. It is an iteritive process. By teaching your child in these ways you don't just teach them about difficult topics, but you also teach them how to learn most efficiently! When your child gets older you should explain this process to her/him. They will already have the habit, but will be unlikely to understand why they should keep this habit unless it is explained. With this knowledge the child will be able to take full advantage of their good habits and can use them to their benefit throughout their life.
I am applying knowledge of the way that the brain absorbs new training/skill and applying it to hypothesis about the way the brain absorbs new understandings because I believe that understanding something new IS a skill. I don't mean understanding in general, I mean that understanding a particular concept requires a new skill, a new understanding that is unique to that concept. When the child tries to understand they are practicing a new understanding technique. The brain's capacity for knowledge is infinite (or infinite enough) but the rate at which it can learn a new skill is limited. After a certain amount of time you begin to do damage to the learning process. This is hard to swallow because it is counter-intuitive. To apply this you will have to in many cases counteract not only your intuition but also that of the child. I want to see an experiment. I don't think it would be difficult to prove.
Also, don't worry about limiting it to one topic a day. A growing child's mind is amazing, a separate topic will stimulate growth in a different area of the brain. As long as they are asking questions answer. I don't care if it takes you all day, these are your children. This is likely the most important thing you will ever do.
Some good variables to concider for experimentation are: the amount of time talking to the children, time left for them to think, time of day and when they sleep, how long they sleep, the complexity of the issue, the explaination, child's age and experiences with the subject, the child's IQ (preferably one of the new style IQ tests)
Edit: Thanks to Joel for working back and forth with me on this. He doesn't agree with everything I say in this essay but has helped me better understand which parts were unclear. I have modified these.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Plans for being a parent, IE parental engineering 101
I think I'll probably be ready enough by the time I am 28. Not that I can ever truly be ready but there is a target in mind. There is more that I need to learn about language, music and this world. So that I may create an environment that promtes love and respect, encourages curiosity and learning and values courage, kindness, honesty and responsibility. I need to have better habits. I also need to mature to be stronger and more courageous so that I may support this environment. Fortunately, when I have the courage to have a child I will know that I have all the courage I need.
Dear Jesse of the future,
Congratulations!
Lead the children! Don't force them into activities. Rather, expose your child to them in a manner which stimulates their curiosity. Attempt to share what you know and love because you will be a good teacher but if the child is not interested instead focus your energies on helping them find their own natural interests. But don't find it for them! Encourage, support and lead them to opportunities. Don't tell them what to try (unless asked for a suggestion of course!), instead show them how to live with an open mind. Always engage questions. Help the child to understand early on that the answer to a question is not simple; that life is a quest for knowledge that is long and rewarding (Instead of letting their perspectives crash when they realise that their model of the world is highly idealized. You can't just tell them this an expect them to understand. Demonstrate with examples and then explain). Stifling questions teaches the child to stay put and not advance in life. Giving curt answers implies that the answer is absolute and children take things literally. Help them to have as much fun as is safe! Teach them how to keep their childhood alive throughout their lives so that they will always go forward to learn more.
Listen to instrumental music together with the children. Pick pieces that have inspired and enlightened you. Spending time with the children in this safe comfortable environment will help them to develop a sense of support, a mental bunker of happiness, the music will create a trigger for them to access these safe feelings throughout their lives (Maybe try having a particular distinct smell always present at these times, alternate it through the years to give them more precise control and avoid having the entire set of memories tainted by an accedental bad experience)
Would be nice to have a community of people who share theories, techniques and experiences in a sort of parenting manual that can be passed down.
Likely more to come on this topic in the future. It is something important to focus on.
My Unreleased Album
In 2005-2006 I composed an album which I never released to the public. (Not that anyone was waiting for it) The album was finished, but it still felt incomplete to me. Tonight I completed it.
This past year has been rough for me. I have faced difficulties that I previously couldn’t have even understood. Early in the year my issues were purely emotional. Being faced with situations that I had never encountered, my system broke. Though I doubt anyone beyond my closest friends even noticed, I was often unstable and upset. Writing this, I’m beginning to see that I have never understood my emotions. I treated them more like a black box and only analyzed the inputs and outputs, ignoring the process. I simply felt them, accepted them and then controlled my reaction. I would ask, “What made me feel that?” but not, “Why did it make me feel that?”. To survive this year I had to start asking that question.
It is April and my war ends. Spring has come. Slowly, I rebuild my tattered perspective. I scrutinize the pieces, attempting to keep only those which are sound; many are not. Viewpoints and understandings that I have developed over years of contemplation are gone, rendered useless by new evidence. The devastation is quiet drastic, yet I hold fast. My resilience surprises me and provides faith.
The gaping holes in my perspective lead to questions. Some of them are new to me but frustratingly many are essentially rephrasing of questions to which I had thought I already had the answer.
Looking back, I can see the beauty in my struggle; the unending journey for Truth, understanding and wisdom that we all travel (Some a bit more waywardly than others, I might add). I can also see that I have traveled well for I am far from where I was last year and the mountain I am now on is taller. I am satisfied with my progress but still have infinity to go, so no time for rest.
My new vantage point has come with a surprise. Over the year my understanding of art, in all forms, has grown profoundly. My old understanding now seems ridiculous, like a blind person explaining what a rainbow looks like. I am rather excited. Most importantly I better understand my emotions. Without this understanding my creativity was lead mostly by intuition and slightly by a third grade understanding of art. My work had no focus because I could not conceptualize that upon which art focuses. The second major understanding is much less obvious and not truly necessary to create great art. However, it essentially allows me to translate between engineering and art. Thus, I can put all of this expensive engineering training to work making art as well! I am beginning to understand the ways in which our minds actually function, along with how we naturally react to certain stimuli. Before this the phrase, “Music is the Universal language.” had no real meaning to me.
I feel like I need a disclaimer here for anyone who doesn’t know me personally. I have always loved music and art, despite my math, science and engineering focus. As far as musical involvement: I played saxophone in 5th & 6th grade, taught myself a bit of keyboard in 8th grade, started teaching myself guitar in 10th grade, started teaching myself bass guitar in 11th grade, started teaching myself drums in 11th grade as well, played bass guitar in a small band for 2 years, composed an electronic album in 12th grade, sang in choir in 12th grade and performed in musical theatre in 11th and 12th grade.
I tell you all of this only to emphasize how ridiculous it is that I did not realize any of this sooner. I always had a terrible time keeping up my motivation practicing any of these instruments. (Except bass guitar, social involvement/pressure with the band plus band class senior year got me pretty sharp) I kept coming back in cycles because I had surpluses of creative energy but I did not understand the process of using it. This built up energy is uncomfortable. So, I spent my energy inefficiently and quickly became frustrated when the fun part of playing an instrument, creating, had such a high failure rate
Now, finally, I am ready to truly begin my musical education. Unfortunately I don’t have the amounts of free time I had in high school to devote to music but still, there will be time enough.
I owe quite a bit of credit to my best friend, though he didn’t realize it. He is a film director and I often work with him to help produce movies (though often only theoretically haha). It is from listening to his vivid, in-depth analysis of the scene from Quentin Tarantino’s film “Death Proof” in which Jungle Julia is listening to the jukebox and swinging her hair that first lead me down the right train of thought. He kept talking about the mood of the scene and how every aspect of the image communicates this mood. It got me to ask myself what the focus was in my own work. I now have come to the conclusion that my focuses were often weak because I couldn’t really grasp the focus myself.
Now. . . I mentioned an album. . . Tonight, while driving my old album started playing on my iPod. It feels like my songs have changed, but I know that it is I that have changed. Tonight I can feel the emotions in the songs I wrote (I’m lucky I never wrote lyrics for them though). They are not perfect but they are pleasant and relaxing. This time when I listen I understand why I made the choices I did while composing because I can understand the emotion which was trying to convey. For the first time I can call my work complete. I have chosen to not modify any of the compositions of the songs nor the album arrangement. Any regrets I have with the album will stand as a benchmark for my progress. Besides this, I have plenty more music to create, music that has more potential in the first place because my goal will be in mind.
Furthermore, as a symbol and celebration of this achievement I am releasing the album, right here, right now.
Feel free to use these tracks for anything you want. Just mention me in a credit, I usually go by the pseudonym “JessXe” (also, a link would be nice! ^_^) and let me know so I can hear it!
The album Title is “Poetry” I consider it to be experimental electronic music. Kompt2, bumpin2 and hot beat are my favorites. You're going to need a system capable of low lows to hear hot beat properly.
Sorry about this website's lack of organization. I recommend downloading them all and putting them in a playlist in order.
1. 1. Is Our Mother There? - Reason 3.0
2. 2. Storm Horizon -Reason 3.0 (My first Reason Composition)
3. 3. Jazzy2 -Reason 3.0
4. 4. Racin’ -Reason 3.0
5. 5. Kompt2 -Drums Reason 3.0 –acoustic guitar –electric guitar –electric bass guitar -keyboard
6. 6. Happy Dream Song -Reason 3.0
7. 7. Ist (Pt 2) -Reason 3.0
8. 8. Cool -Reason 3.0
9. 9. Bumpin2 -Reason 3.0
10. 10. Minor -Reason 3.0
11. 11. Sweetbeats -Reason 3.0
12. 12. Hot Beat -Reason 3.0
Today is the day I stop being an aspiring artist.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
My Motivations for Learning Chinese
My Chinese professor asked us to write an essay about our motivations for learning Chinese. So I did an in-depth analysis of where my motivation stems from. Below is my response to her prompt.
This may be a little long and read a little “self-absorbed” but writing this out helps me to analyze and improve myself, while also fulfilling your request. I hope that you find it interesting and not too drawn out. To fully explain my motivations for learning Chinese, I must start three years ago. A new movement in my life was beginning:
December 2006, My first semester of college coming to a close I am young and full of vigor for life. I have survived the first semester in the Speed School of Engineering studying computer engineering. The school I have heard of since my childhood. My father's alma mater, rumored to be so difficult. Yet here I stand with decent grades and a good understanding of the concepts. I, the one who always felt like the slacker with the poor grades have finally achieved an academic goal of substantial repute. So it follows that I feel welled up with motivation; my ambitions are high.
On December 4th 2006 I made a series of posts to my newly started blog at http://wandertowonder.blogspot.com . In these posts I start to document some of the philosophical thoughts I'm having because I am disappointed that I have forgotten so many ideas in the past. I also lay out a series of goals I intend to achieve. Some of my plans are a bit extreme and silly, but I am never-the-less convinced that I will achieve them all. As I progress into my winter break my dreams become even more interesting. Most notably are the experimentation with polyphasic sleep cycles (Taking a 20 minute nap once every 6 hours instead of sleeping at night) and learning the international language Esperanto (世界语).
Despite my recent success and source of ambition I feel intellectually trapped and artistically restricted. To alleviate this, I begin to explore the world of foreign languages. I believe that our higher level thought patterns are so intimately integrated with language that by limiting ourselves to one language we also limit ourselves to the particular associations and therefore also to the particular viewpoints inherent in the structure of the language we are tied to. I could not stand the thought of this! At this point in time I struggle most for freedom of my mind and language exploration is purely a logical step in expanding my mind and my understanding. There is, at this point, no ethical, cultural or social aspect to my infantile language desires; it is purely fueled by intellectual ambition. I soon discover that intellectual ambition alone is not enough to power the learning of a foreign language, even if that language is one of the easiest on the planet to learn.
My intention is to use Esperanto as a stepping stone language. I have read that the most difficult aspect of learning a second language was breaking out of the “one language mindset.” After a second language is learned, the learning curve for the third language is decreased because it requires little further mindset modification. Inspired by studies done comparing French language students with Esperanto experience to those with no Esperanto experience[1] I will use the easiest-to-learn language to break this mindset thus making further language study easier. I study Esperanto heavily for three weeks, taking an online correspondence course. Much of my time is spent waiting for responses from my mentor to check my coursework. This is no problem. I have more time than I can ask for, because outside of work I have few responsibilities over this break. Not to mention, I'm only sleeping a total of 2 hours a day due to the polyphasic sleeping cycles I am trying (Note that much of this is documented in my blog's archives). I have a blast and come out being able to read and write Esperanto at a basic level. However, January comes and with it return the responsibilities of school. I am forced to resign from polyphasic sleeping due to scheduling conflicts. My motivation to run through Esperanto flash cards weekly to memorize more root words rapidly deteriorates and soon falters a month or so later.
For a two year hiatus I have little to no thoughts about Esperanto or any foreign language for that matter. It is April 2008 and I am in the last week or so of work at my first computer engineering job as a CO-OP worker at a large appliance manufacturer. I am again in a phase of self-improvement. I'm trying to eat more healthfully, I've started a media production company with my best friend Bo and girlfriend Allison to make motion pictures and I am learning how to budget and manage my money as I now have a fair amount of it for the first time in my life. I am a very different person than I was in early 2007. I've faced more of my own failures, my mental viewpoint has expanded and I judge myself by different criteria. It is time for my performance review. My boss and I spend and hour or so on a slow Friday evening discussing the work I've been doing for the past four months. During the review, my boss is emphasizing the importance of clear communication and he praises me for being able to communicate very well in various situations. He tells me that one of my most valuable traits is my ability to communicate clearly across cultural barriers, language barriers and technical knowledge barriers. After thinking for a second, a connection is made in my mind and I explain to him that I must attribute much of this to my study of Esperanto two years ago. Studying Esperanto greatly increased my understanding of the general structure of language and had revealed many insights into human communication for me. Though I have forgotten many of the details of the language, this understanding had endured and, in fact, matured while my mind subconsciously analyzed and compared it to daily observations.
Later that weekend, my in-review revelation has brought Esperanto back to the forefront my mind. I decide that I would like to give it another shot. So, I pick up a book from the library about Esperanto. Unlike the correspondence course, this book begins to introduce the culture and philosophy behind the Esperanto movement. I read samples from Esperanto literature that reinforce these ideals. I learn that the purpose of Esperanto is to spread equality across all the nations of the world. I come to see how the world could be a better place if the people of different nations could communicate directly, instead of only through the eyes of their government or media. If this were possible people would come to see that they are not so different from the people they have been told are their enemies. I can also see the injustice in the way that the world currently deals with the language problem. The people of the world are expected to learn the language of the country with economic “dominance.” The system in place is unreasonable. It helps to perpetuate the problem because learning a new language is difficult and achieving fluency in any one of the National Languages requires years of concentrated study if ever achieved at all. How is it fair for one person to be perpetually at a disadvantage when partaking in International affairs, simply because they were born in the “wrong” country at the “wrong” time while another is perpetually at an advantage? How about instead of piling the disadvantage on particular groups of people, we spread the disadvantage equally across all people? How about we teach our children both the language of our nation and a secondary language of our world? A worldwide language, designed to be easy to learn so that we do not have to sacrifice any of our cultural heritage to spend time learning it but also powerful enough that we can communicate with any other person on the planet as well we can with our own brethren. These are the new ideas swimming through my mind. These are my hopes and dreams for the world, but I can find no one around me who truly shares my optimism and can also provide reliable support. With no one to practice with, I find it difficult to improve my spoken fluency and my listening comprehension. As a person with a history of weak motivation, I find it difficult to maintain without any occasional external human support. It is true that the internet is there, and there Esperanto speakers are readily available, but my online friends cannot use guilt to my benefit in the way that friends who live with me everyday can. These social structures are present in all of our lives. Much of what you do is motivated by your own desires, but also supported by your friends and family in your times of weakness. While no one actively discourages my Esperanto study, no one partakes with me. So, though I continue to learn Esperanto little by little over the summer, I also start to look for the next language I will learn. Perhaps by learning a more popular language and taking a course I will at least have classmates to practice with.
After a summer back at Speed School I return to work in my CO-OP position. In my free time I have begun to learn basic meanings of Japanese characters and how to write them. I am drawn to Japanese because it is so vastly different from English. I considered Chinese, but up to this point I have given little thought to China and in a way, like much of the world, it does not even seem like a real place to me. I mean sure I know things about China. I like Chinese food, I know what the Chinese language sounds like to a degree, I know what Chinese people look like, I know of a few customs but I have no idea what the real China is like. But an event occurs that I could not have planned for; I find a little sister that I did not know I had. Now, this all changes.
I have heard little bits of information about my friend's roommate through my friend's messages on Facebook and through stories my girlfriend told me after visiting her college in Murray, KY. But really, all I know is that she is from China and she goes by the name Ivy. She has come home with my friend to see her hometown. I am excited for the opportunity to meet and talk to a person from a country so different from my own. The feeling as we talk is surreal and unique, but also familiar. I know this type of feeling. Having only been in the country for two months she still hesitates and speaks in somewhat broken English, yet I understand clearly everything she means to say. It is a rare and beautiful moment when you meet a person and know without a doubt that they will help shape the rest of your life.
Later in the evening Ivy, Allison and I are in the living room. I am sitting on the floor, Allison in a chair and Ivy, likely worn out from the travel and excitement of the day, is reclined on the couch. I am asking her about the Chinese language and she tries to explain to me its ancient history and beauty. She speaks of how the language, bound with tradition, has passed for thousands of years through the generations of Chinese people. After a few moments of talking she falls asleep, simply too exhausted to go on. I'll never forget the words she utters while passing into sleep, a single tear in the corner of her eye, “So beautiful. So historical.”
Though Murray is rather far from Louisville I am fortunate enough to be able to communicate regularly and visit a few times. Ivy, acting as a window into her motherland, allows me to have little glimpses into Chinese culture. When we visit her in Murray and while she stays in Louisville for winter break she often prepares simple but delicious homemade Chinese meals for us. Allison and I plan a trip to New York for Allison, Ivy, my friend, my friend's mother and I. Over spring break we attempt to explore the massive and magnificent city. Allison, Ivy and I spend one day on a search through Chinatown. I am excited to be able to understand a word or phrase here and there as Ivy asks street vendors where to find particular items. Not confident in my speaking abilities, I hesitate when the owner of a small market looks to me over the counter and says ”十七点四一美元。“ They laugh lightheartedly at the blank expression on my face as I try to be sure I heard correctly, but are surprised when I pull out the proper amount a moment later.
Through these experiences I only see little parts of what China is, but every bit I encounter inspires more wonder, curiosity and respect. From my attempts learning Esperanto I have learned about myself and what motivates me. My desire to learn Chinese has evolved from that spark of an idea three years ago to free my mind from a single language into a complex array of motivation and even a part of who I am. I am inspired to learn Chinese to further understand the culture, to become a part of the history and to speak to my little sister in her own language, but also for reasons I cannot identify with a simple word or concept. These reasons can only be explained through the story you have just read.
[1] Williams, N. (1965) 'A language teaching experiment', Canadian Modern Language Review 22.1: 26-28
This may be a little long and read a little “self-absorbed” but writing this out helps me to analyze and improve myself, while also fulfilling your request. I hope that you find it interesting and not too drawn out. To fully explain my motivations for learning Chinese, I must start three years ago. A new movement in my life was beginning:
December 2006, My first semester of college coming to a close I am young and full of vigor for life. I have survived the first semester in the Speed School of Engineering studying computer engineering. The school I have heard of since my childhood. My father's alma mater, rumored to be so difficult. Yet here I stand with decent grades and a good understanding of the concepts. I, the one who always felt like the slacker with the poor grades have finally achieved an academic goal of substantial repute. So it follows that I feel welled up with motivation; my ambitions are high.
On December 4th 2006 I made a series of posts to my newly started blog at http://wandertowonder.blogspot.com . In these posts I start to document some of the philosophical thoughts I'm having because I am disappointed that I have forgotten so many ideas in the past. I also lay out a series of goals I intend to achieve. Some of my plans are a bit extreme and silly, but I am never-the-less convinced that I will achieve them all. As I progress into my winter break my dreams become even more interesting. Most notably are the experimentation with polyphasic sleep cycles (Taking a 20 minute nap once every 6 hours instead of sleeping at night) and learning the international language Esperanto (世界语).
Despite my recent success and source of ambition I feel intellectually trapped and artistically restricted. To alleviate this, I begin to explore the world of foreign languages. I believe that our higher level thought patterns are so intimately integrated with language that by limiting ourselves to one language we also limit ourselves to the particular associations and therefore also to the particular viewpoints inherent in the structure of the language we are tied to. I could not stand the thought of this! At this point in time I struggle most for freedom of my mind and language exploration is purely a logical step in expanding my mind and my understanding. There is, at this point, no ethical, cultural or social aspect to my infantile language desires; it is purely fueled by intellectual ambition. I soon discover that intellectual ambition alone is not enough to power the learning of a foreign language, even if that language is one of the easiest on the planet to learn.
My intention is to use Esperanto as a stepping stone language. I have read that the most difficult aspect of learning a second language was breaking out of the “one language mindset.” After a second language is learned, the learning curve for the third language is decreased because it requires little further mindset modification. Inspired by studies done comparing French language students with Esperanto experience to those with no Esperanto experience[1] I will use the easiest-to-learn language to break this mindset thus making further language study easier. I study Esperanto heavily for three weeks, taking an online correspondence course. Much of my time is spent waiting for responses from my mentor to check my coursework. This is no problem. I have more time than I can ask for, because outside of work I have few responsibilities over this break. Not to mention, I'm only sleeping a total of 2 hours a day due to the polyphasic sleeping cycles I am trying (Note that much of this is documented in my blog's archives). I have a blast and come out being able to read and write Esperanto at a basic level. However, January comes and with it return the responsibilities of school. I am forced to resign from polyphasic sleeping due to scheduling conflicts. My motivation to run through Esperanto flash cards weekly to memorize more root words rapidly deteriorates and soon falters a month or so later.
For a two year hiatus I have little to no thoughts about Esperanto or any foreign language for that matter. It is April 2008 and I am in the last week or so of work at my first computer engineering job as a CO-OP worker at a large appliance manufacturer. I am again in a phase of self-improvement. I'm trying to eat more healthfully, I've started a media production company with my best friend Bo and girlfriend Allison to make motion pictures and I am learning how to budget and manage my money as I now have a fair amount of it for the first time in my life. I am a very different person than I was in early 2007. I've faced more of my own failures, my mental viewpoint has expanded and I judge myself by different criteria. It is time for my performance review. My boss and I spend and hour or so on a slow Friday evening discussing the work I've been doing for the past four months. During the review, my boss is emphasizing the importance of clear communication and he praises me for being able to communicate very well in various situations. He tells me that one of my most valuable traits is my ability to communicate clearly across cultural barriers, language barriers and technical knowledge barriers. After thinking for a second, a connection is made in my mind and I explain to him that I must attribute much of this to my study of Esperanto two years ago. Studying Esperanto greatly increased my understanding of the general structure of language and had revealed many insights into human communication for me. Though I have forgotten many of the details of the language, this understanding had endured and, in fact, matured while my mind subconsciously analyzed and compared it to daily observations.
Later that weekend, my in-review revelation has brought Esperanto back to the forefront my mind. I decide that I would like to give it another shot. So, I pick up a book from the library about Esperanto. Unlike the correspondence course, this book begins to introduce the culture and philosophy behind the Esperanto movement. I read samples from Esperanto literature that reinforce these ideals. I learn that the purpose of Esperanto is to spread equality across all the nations of the world. I come to see how the world could be a better place if the people of different nations could communicate directly, instead of only through the eyes of their government or media. If this were possible people would come to see that they are not so different from the people they have been told are their enemies. I can also see the injustice in the way that the world currently deals with the language problem. The people of the world are expected to learn the language of the country with economic “dominance.” The system in place is unreasonable. It helps to perpetuate the problem because learning a new language is difficult and achieving fluency in any one of the National Languages requires years of concentrated study if ever achieved at all. How is it fair for one person to be perpetually at a disadvantage when partaking in International affairs, simply because they were born in the “wrong” country at the “wrong” time while another is perpetually at an advantage? How about instead of piling the disadvantage on particular groups of people, we spread the disadvantage equally across all people? How about we teach our children both the language of our nation and a secondary language of our world? A worldwide language, designed to be easy to learn so that we do not have to sacrifice any of our cultural heritage to spend time learning it but also powerful enough that we can communicate with any other person on the planet as well we can with our own brethren. These are the new ideas swimming through my mind. These are my hopes and dreams for the world, but I can find no one around me who truly shares my optimism and can also provide reliable support. With no one to practice with, I find it difficult to improve my spoken fluency and my listening comprehension. As a person with a history of weak motivation, I find it difficult to maintain without any occasional external human support. It is true that the internet is there, and there Esperanto speakers are readily available, but my online friends cannot use guilt to my benefit in the way that friends who live with me everyday can. These social structures are present in all of our lives. Much of what you do is motivated by your own desires, but also supported by your friends and family in your times of weakness. While no one actively discourages my Esperanto study, no one partakes with me. So, though I continue to learn Esperanto little by little over the summer, I also start to look for the next language I will learn. Perhaps by learning a more popular language and taking a course I will at least have classmates to practice with.
After a summer back at Speed School I return to work in my CO-OP position. In my free time I have begun to learn basic meanings of Japanese characters and how to write them. I am drawn to Japanese because it is so vastly different from English. I considered Chinese, but up to this point I have given little thought to China and in a way, like much of the world, it does not even seem like a real place to me. I mean sure I know things about China. I like Chinese food, I know what the Chinese language sounds like to a degree, I know what Chinese people look like, I know of a few customs but I have no idea what the real China is like. But an event occurs that I could not have planned for; I find a little sister that I did not know I had. Now, this all changes.
I have heard little bits of information about my friend's roommate through my friend's messages on Facebook and through stories my girlfriend told me after visiting her college in Murray, KY. But really, all I know is that she is from China and she goes by the name Ivy. She has come home with my friend to see her hometown. I am excited for the opportunity to meet and talk to a person from a country so different from my own. The feeling as we talk is surreal and unique, but also familiar. I know this type of feeling. Having only been in the country for two months she still hesitates and speaks in somewhat broken English, yet I understand clearly everything she means to say. It is a rare and beautiful moment when you meet a person and know without a doubt that they will help shape the rest of your life.
Later in the evening Ivy, Allison and I are in the living room. I am sitting on the floor, Allison in a chair and Ivy, likely worn out from the travel and excitement of the day, is reclined on the couch. I am asking her about the Chinese language and she tries to explain to me its ancient history and beauty. She speaks of how the language, bound with tradition, has passed for thousands of years through the generations of Chinese people. After a few moments of talking she falls asleep, simply too exhausted to go on. I'll never forget the words she utters while passing into sleep, a single tear in the corner of her eye, “So beautiful. So historical.”
Though Murray is rather far from Louisville I am fortunate enough to be able to communicate regularly and visit a few times. Ivy, acting as a window into her motherland, allows me to have little glimpses into Chinese culture. When we visit her in Murray and while she stays in Louisville for winter break she often prepares simple but delicious homemade Chinese meals for us. Allison and I plan a trip to New York for Allison, Ivy, my friend, my friend's mother and I. Over spring break we attempt to explore the massive and magnificent city. Allison, Ivy and I spend one day on a search through Chinatown. I am excited to be able to understand a word or phrase here and there as Ivy asks street vendors where to find particular items. Not confident in my speaking abilities, I hesitate when the owner of a small market looks to me over the counter and says ”十七点四一美元。“ They laugh lightheartedly at the blank expression on my face as I try to be sure I heard correctly, but are surprised when I pull out the proper amount a moment later.
Through these experiences I only see little parts of what China is, but every bit I encounter inspires more wonder, curiosity and respect. From my attempts learning Esperanto I have learned about myself and what motivates me. My desire to learn Chinese has evolved from that spark of an idea three years ago to free my mind from a single language into a complex array of motivation and even a part of who I am. I am inspired to learn Chinese to further understand the culture, to become a part of the history and to speak to my little sister in her own language, but also for reasons I cannot identify with a simple word or concept. These reasons can only be explained through the story you have just read.
[1] Williams, N. (1965) 'A language teaching experiment', Canadian Modern Language Review 22.1: 26-28
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Creation
I can imagine it now, the moment of the creation of life. When the first organism miraculously appeared. Small, tiny, if it were here today you would not be able to see it with your own eyes. But life! You can imagine it too, you do it all of the time. You create everyday a new idea, a new thought a new connection or most powerfully, a laugh!
Saturday, December 5, 2009
What am I?
I am a complicated combination of electrical signals which form a unique and dynamic pattern. This pattern resides in a housing which serves as a means of producing the pattern as well as allowing it to sense and affect the physical world. There are other patterns, similar to mine. Our individual patterns together with our individual housing that makes them possible are called human beings.
We each experience the world seperately and our patterns reflect our experiences. The pattern that I am started as the pattern I was born with. This oringinal pattern is encoded and stored within my DNA. The pattern is structured in such a way that as it is introduced to new stimuli it changes itself to adapt and react in a way that is percieved as correct.
I further modify myself by interacting with others. Through simlar or common experiences we are able to understand one another, to a degree. The most common and most important factor in day to day communication is culture. Culture is a culmantion of experiences common to most members a society. It is this that gives our language meaning because language is an encoding of the concepts of the known universe and culture is the encoder/decoder. When we speak we put things in terms of our culture and this transcends the language being used.
Culture is how we relate our ideas, language is how we express them.
In order to communicate effectively when speaking to someone from a very different culture we must understand the differences between our cultures because this knowledge allows us to translate our ideas into the terms of their culture. Without this understanding it does not matter how well we can speak their language. Of course, almost no human is from a COMPLETELY different culture because while there are national and regional cultures that may be very different there is also a more general Human culture common to almost every human. For example, every human has the common experience of eating food.
This becomes even more interesting when you think about the way that you think. I use language in my mind as a tool to relate and understand high level concepts. Without this tool I would be forced to think on a much lower level and would not be capable of entertaining higher level concepts. So in a way language makes up a large part of who I am because it is how I relate to the world. But the language I use is meaningless without culture. So really it is through my culture that I can understand the world. My culture is impressed upon the pattern that is I. My culture is part of me and not just in some symbolic way. It actually is a part of who I am.
Now I've looked at part of the high level end, now I want to go back down to the low level. The pattern that I am is a combination of electrical signals. I don't know exactly how to communicate the details of the next part. The over all idea, however, is that the components that make up my consciousness are the same as the regular components of the physical world.
We each experience the world seperately and our patterns reflect our experiences. The pattern that I am started as the pattern I was born with. This oringinal pattern is encoded and stored within my DNA. The pattern is structured in such a way that as it is introduced to new stimuli it changes itself to adapt and react in a way that is percieved as correct.
I further modify myself by interacting with others. Through simlar or common experiences we are able to understand one another, to a degree. The most common and most important factor in day to day communication is culture. Culture is a culmantion of experiences common to most members a society. It is this that gives our language meaning because language is an encoding of the concepts of the known universe and culture is the encoder/decoder. When we speak we put things in terms of our culture and this transcends the language being used.
Culture is how we relate our ideas, language is how we express them.
In order to communicate effectively when speaking to someone from a very different culture we must understand the differences between our cultures because this knowledge allows us to translate our ideas into the terms of their culture. Without this understanding it does not matter how well we can speak their language. Of course, almost no human is from a COMPLETELY different culture because while there are national and regional cultures that may be very different there is also a more general Human culture common to almost every human. For example, every human has the common experience of eating food.
This becomes even more interesting when you think about the way that you think. I use language in my mind as a tool to relate and understand high level concepts. Without this tool I would be forced to think on a much lower level and would not be capable of entertaining higher level concepts. So in a way language makes up a large part of who I am because it is how I relate to the world. But the language I use is meaningless without culture. So really it is through my culture that I can understand the world. My culture is impressed upon the pattern that is I. My culture is part of me and not just in some symbolic way. It actually is a part of who I am.
Now I've looked at part of the high level end, now I want to go back down to the low level. The pattern that I am is a combination of electrical signals. I don't know exactly how to communicate the details of the next part. The over all idea, however, is that the components that make up my consciousness are the same as the regular components of the physical world.
Disclaimer
I've posted the following as a message to anyone with whom I have ever attempted to have an intelligent philosophical conversation. I originally drafted it as an email to Joel, so he deserves some credit for inspiration if he wants it. I post intending it to be both an insight into me in order to improve our communication and also a disclaimer for the things I say. I feel it is only fair for me to share this publicly if I intend to speak in a way that promotes progress and development:
"So, a funny thing happened to me today. I am sitting in my room thinking while taking a break from working on homework. I grab a slice of pizza and ask myself who I am I start to think about and break down some of the abstractions that I usually rest my judgment on. This of course changes my perspective. Now I am thinking about things that I usually ignore for sake of convenience. Now I can see the path that I am on and I can experience as a whole what I understand. I cannot explain it, I cannot communicate it, but I know what I know and I know what I don't know. I have to, at this point, attempt to be perfectly honest with myself and everyone; to speak in this manner despite how foolish I may sound because it is the only way that I know to improve myself. I have reached this point because of what I have learned; because every time I learn something, I realize that I know less than I thought I knew. Though really I suppose this is just the feeling of new awareness. I think I had taken it for granted.
You see, but I also am aware of the fact that the culmination of what I know is incomplete and so therefore could be DEAD WRONG when viewed with respect to how much there could be to know. However, to act as a sane person, I must behave with the assumption that my assumptions are correct and it is with this assumption that I am most unassured.
So basically this means that the only reason I am not a crazy person is because I don't want to be. Luckily I do know that I don't want to be a crazy person, but I don't know why.
I hope that this doesn't make me seem crazy, however. (Note I am kind of following your lead here and breaking social norms[ by giving you my thoughts in an unedited form here and it is important that you know this in order to properly understand this. I am being as explicit as possible.] )
But this space is a bit uncomfortable because I don't like acting with out all of the information, even though we all must do it boldly, everyday. I suppose that's why courage is what powers the most heroic, terrific and the most terrifying of all."
I'm not sure if this communication is clear. It is likely to be misinterpreted due to an err on my part, but I thought I should give it a shot anyways. I'm not going to worry about if it is clearly understood or not, because I know that I cannot at this moment in time explain it any better. However, criticism is appreciated if available because the new information may help me to better communicate.
"So, a funny thing happened to me today. I am sitting in my room thinking while taking a break from working on homework. I grab a slice of pizza and ask myself who I am I start to think about and break down some of the abstractions that I usually rest my judgment on. This of course changes my perspective. Now I am thinking about things that I usually ignore for sake of convenience. Now I can see the path that I am on and I can experience as a whole what I understand. I cannot explain it, I cannot communicate it, but I know what I know and I know what I don't know. I have to, at this point, attempt to be perfectly honest with myself and everyone; to speak in this manner despite how foolish I may sound because it is the only way that I know to improve myself. I have reached this point because of what I have learned; because every time I learn something, I realize that I know less than I thought I knew. Though really I suppose this is just the feeling of new awareness. I think I had taken it for granted.
You see, but I also am aware of the fact that the culmination of what I know is incomplete and so therefore could be DEAD WRONG when viewed with respect to how much there could be to know. However, to act as a sane person, I must behave with the assumption that my assumptions are correct and it is with this assumption that I am most unassured.
So basically this means that the only reason I am not a crazy person is because I don't want to be. Luckily I do know that I don't want to be a crazy person, but I don't know why.
I hope that this doesn't make me seem crazy, however. (Note I am kind of following your lead here and breaking social norms[ by giving you my thoughts in an unedited form here and it is important that you know this in order to properly understand this. I am being as explicit as possible.] )
But this space is a bit uncomfortable because I don't like acting with out all of the information, even though we all must do it boldly, everyday. I suppose that's why courage is what powers the most heroic, terrific and the most terrifying of all."
I'm not sure if this communication is clear. It is likely to be misinterpreted due to an err on my part, but I thought I should give it a shot anyways. I'm not going to worry about if it is clearly understood or not, because I know that I cannot at this moment in time explain it any better. However, criticism is appreciated if available because the new information may help me to better communicate.
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