We have not civilization.

We call what we have a "civilization." Yet, I see nothing civil about it. . . our entire world is fueled by competition and destruction. As far as I can tell we haven't civilized, we've merely systematized barbarianism; where each man works as hard as he can to ensure that he will have and others will have not - measuring his worth by how successful he has been at robbing his neighbors and enemies - by how far more he has in contrast with them. THIS is the nature of your beloved capitalism.

True, this is the way of nature and I am rather fond of nature, but we have something special that no other aspect of nature has (of which we are aware of) and that is the knowledge of our and of other's existence. Beyond this, we also have reason and intelligence. I think that with these things we are capable of finding a way to live in which equality is truly respected and the freedom of one does not impede the freedom of any other.

I think we need only one universal law of sentient beings and that is to not impede upon another sentient's freedom. The punishment for violation of this law would be the removal of your status as sentient. The difficulty here would be in finding a clear definition of freedom.

My Answer and Message to Humanity

I think I have found an answer to all of my questions, but unfortunately I am limited by my knowledge and by my language. As best I can say my answer: The Universe is.

Quite a bit is lost in translation. To fully understand what this statement means to me, you must know everything about me at the time I answered because this is my answer. Unfortunately, I cannot share with you much about me in a reasonable amount of time and I think I could never be able to tell you everything about me.

But there is one thing which I think I can explain, a sense of comfort. I do think that the Universe acts as a whole. It has always progressed forward and I believe that it will continue for quite some time. It is incomprehensibly older than we are and yet we are one of the fastest progressing aspects of it that we know of. I believe we will have peace one day. I believe that one day, the descendants of this planet will be rid of all our insanity and will operate with common goals of Universal love. At this point, the universe will be our paradise because we will finally understand that there is no reason to be unhappy with the ways of nature.

I am here for humanity. No human is my enemy; my enemies are faceless and subtle - unnameable in any phrase or term that I know, but I am not afraid of them. My greatest and only honor is in the servitude of humanity. To work for myself is pointless, I will die much sooner and can contribute much less to the Universe. I love you Humanity; I've been told not to, but you are irresistible. I know that you are quite likely to kill me - it will be in your service that I will die and my only sadness, my only regret will be that I was not capable of providing more for you.

Two Poem Drafts

Here are two poems I've got in the works. Would love some feedback and well thought-out criticisms!

This first one probably won't change much.

Title: I'm sorry, but I loathe the Falsehood of your Face

The man,
who would consider art a trivial thing
is nothing more than a Sophomore.

He fails to see that
he is only mocking himself,
and that:
We laugh at him.
We disarm him.
As he naïvely forgoes his strength,
we sap his potency.

His life is wasted -
and there are no tears for him.
For the true tragedy
occurred years ago,
when he ended his life.


Title: When you open that Door

Even in the city
a sweet fragrance drifts in.

So different,
I had forgotten -
locked in all winter
where have you been?

Oh, I beg
don't leave me this year!
But I know that you will.

The wheel always turns
and Death saves us all.

Grades School and Asperger Suspicions

A bit of my past and what growing up was like for me circa 1995 - 2002. Includes a few of the reasons I now believe I may have Asperger's as my mother now tells me she had begun to suspect years and years ago. I got a lot of this out of a few of my old notebooks from high school where I had tried to document my history and my development. Other parts come from discussion with my mother. My analysis is now much more complete.

Looking back a little on the history of my once poor visual memory, I often was too distracted by my imagination to really focus much on what things really looked like. It took some training for me to really be able to start paying attention to things like this when I was directed to. In contrast, when thinking alone to myself I would often stare deeply at an object paying careful attention to every detail and day dreaming about it. I would do this for hours if no one came to interrupt me. I could recall these things perfectly, but the psychologists never got to see this side of me. I've always loved to do this and I think it has greatly contributed to my overall intelligence. I got a lot of practice thinking, as it is what I did with most of my time; I did not have many friends and those I did have I saw rarely outside of school. During recess I usually sat alone and imagined things because I did not enjoy doing what most of the other children did. They wanted to play sports or to imagine by playing archetypal roles. I preferred to imagine things morphing and changing, flying around and becoming other things. I liked to imagine colorful, curving and swirling beams of light that had different effects on the things they passed through. I really liked the television show "My Little Pony" with the unicorns and pegasuses because of all of the light and color themes they had. I think this may be why I called this imaginary world "magic." I spoke of "magic" incessantly to my mother and anyone else who would listen. As a younger child I did not realize that these things were not real and that other people did not see them. When I reached 3rd grade it started to become more apparent to me because my classmates would tease me when I spoke about it, but I still did not understand that it was because their world was very different from mine. I think they thought I was crazy. Interestingly, the teasing did not bother me unless they were outright mean to me. Other situations in which they laughed at me were actually enjoyable for me because I liked the laughter. So, I learned what made them laugh and engaged them in it often. It took me a year or two to understand that they were trying to be cruel - that the laughter and the mean behavior stemmed from the same thing. When I realized this, I realized that the "magic" of my imagination was not real, though I still found it enjoyable and so engaged in it often.

As soon as I found out that it wasn't real I began to pray every night that it could be real. I did not enjoy the nightmarish world I was beginning to see that everyone else was trapped in. I knew that I needed to understand it in order to have friends and be accepted but it was difficult. Now I knew that I was different but still didn't know that it was unusual to have such an active imagination. I did not connect this to my poor grades in subjects which I could not focus or that it was what made me different. I knew that I had ADD and attributed everything to this, but didn't really know what it meant. They told me I couldn't pay attention and they gave me medicine to fix it. I didn't like the medicine, it made me feel weird and it took away much of my comforting world. However I liked getting better grades because it made everyone around me happy. I loved to see people smile so much and to know that I made them happy, especially people I looked up to like my parents and my teachers, so I dealt with it for a few years.

I learned how to play pretend with my friends at this age. It wasn't as much fun as my imagination but I liked interacting with other people and this was one of the only ways I could do it. I thought sports were pretty boring until I got older.

7th grade I started consciously realizing that if I wanted to do well in class I would have to ignore my imagination and pay attention to the teacher if I wanted to score well on tests. This was after I stopped taking ADD medicine which had just taken the imagination away from me. When I learned how to control my imagination and subdue it I started doing much better in school and my ability to read other people's emotions improved because I could focus more on subtleties I had not previously taken note of. This helped me to understand more about other people and other to act like one of them. I built a shell through which I could interface with the "normal" people. At the time I thought I had fixed myself, I thought "Now I am normal, now they will like me, now I will understand them." I was excited when I started out at high school because I felt like I had a fresh start where everyone didn't know of my bizarre actions at a younger age. I thought I had a real chance of just being like everyone else, of having lots of friends to do stuff with. More than anything I wanted a group of friends like I always saw in the movies and TV shows. I continued with this mindset until summer 2003 when I was introduced to the band A Fire Inside (AFI). They explained everything to me. But I'll tell that story later.

Thoughts and Techniques for Memory

I remember reading that out of a group of people, when asked to go to a location and memorize as much as possible, those who perform best at recall did not examine the room from left to right or right to left, but spiraled out from a center. I think I understand why this is.

I've been practicing improving my visual memory. It started as a litlle game for me. I had been looking through all of my childhood school reports and found that I had always tested very poorly on visual memory.

Looking back on the history of this, I often was too distracted by my imagination to really focus much on what things really looked like. It took some training for me to really be able to start paying attention to things like this when I was directed to. In contrast, when thinking alone to myself I would often stare deeply at an object paying careful attention to every detail and day dreaming about it. I would do this for hours if no one came to interrupt me. I could recall these things perfectly, but the psychologists never got to see this side of me. . . (Read more on this history in my next blog post)

I was also thinking about how it was a little difficult for me to remember people's faces growing up. I remember a particular incident when I was around 12 or 13, I was away from home on a camping trip and for whatever reason was thinking about my mother. I tried to picture her face in my mind, I was shocked when I found that I was unable to do it. I hadn't noticed before because I had never tried to imagine someone's face before. I could get a very vague image of a human face, but it was more like some generic face form. I tried to visualize others, but again I was unable to do it. I couldn't believe it! I wondered how could I not picture these people in my mind because I had known them my entire life. It bothered me. Later on I eventually was able to do this a good deal better after I had known someone for awhile. I just had never really paid attention to what their faces looked like, my mind must have associated them in some other way.

So, riding the bus a few weeks ago (now 6:28am Feb 26 2010) I wanted to try really paying more attention to what people's faces looked like. However, i didn't want to just sit there staring people down so I decided I would just take a quick glance and just see if I could hold the image long enough to analyze it at all. I glanced at the face of the first girl to step onto the bus and then shut my eyelids. I could see her face almost perfectly. I was amazed. I tried it with every other person to step onto the bus. For at least a few moments I could remember each face and picture them clearly in my mind. I still remember the face of that first girl, though I did turn around at glance at her 3 or 4 more times before she got off of the bus (Note that each of these glances was less than one second, performed while turning my head without stopping). From those glances I am today still able to almost perfectly reconstruct the first image of her. From the lip ring hanging from the right side of the bottom of her lip to the style of her hair, her complexion, her moles, the shape of her lips.

These quick mental snapshots work really well for small simple things and faces. The technique requires you to put a lot of faith into your intuition. Just look at something shut your eyes and continue seeing it. Don't try to hard. Use a small simple thing to practice with if you find this trust difficult at first.

With practice this can be extended to your entire field of vision. Just stare forward, but don't really pay attention to the center so much (The point at which your eyes are directed is the center). Instead try to see everything. Pay attention especially to outlines. Look at the general shape of everything there. Areas where it is hard to determine the borders of may be difficult or impossible to recall accurately.

Another technique I've come up with and find useful is what I call "Mental Painting." Basically you look at the thing you want to remember and use your imagination to "paint" over top of it. But paint it to look exactly the same as it already appears! Then when you close your eyes repaint it, but this time onto the black canvas.

Very similar to the Mental Painting is another technique I call "3-D Modeling and Imposing." Instead of painting the object with your imagination you use an imaginary 3-D Modeling program (If you haven't used one of these programs you could also think of it as molding clay which would also be useful if you are a more tactile learner) and model the shape. You'll have to use imagine that you can see through the object so that you can see the other side without rotating it. Once you have "captured" it this way you can close your eyes and rotate it all you want, though.

OK, now my favorite. You can use any method like those above (I encourage you to come up with your own and post them in the comments!) to kind of get an initial "sense" of something you want to memorize, to just assimilate it into your brain but you will find that though some of these images will stick with you for a long time (like the girl on the bus) many others will disappear not soon after you discontinue thinking about them. Why, do you think this is? It is because though you brought them in and focused upon them they were not related strongly to anything else. It is like you added a conceptual island in your brain, but never built any bridges so people(your thoughts) don't go there very often and so they never put it on the map. I remember the girl because she was distinct and I related her to this technique because she was my first successful use of it - thus whenever I think of this technique I will think of her. The image of her means something to my mind. If I got to actually know her this meaning would be gradually modified to include all of the complexities of her personality, but for now she is a visual representation of my technique, for me. Everything you see has some meaning to you and some temporary connection is formed in your mind, but often it is subconscious and the connection very slight and hard to notice if you are not very confident in your intuition. But, when you do consciously recognize this personal "meaning" (or association) the connection suddenly becomes very strong and you feel an epiphany. So the trick to long term memory is to visualize the object (or person!) and understand what it means to you. WHY it is shaped the way it is. This brings perfect or near perfect memory. The tough part is how to figure out what some arbitrary shape "means" to your subconscious mind. I believe that it lies in trusting your intuition. Look at an object and just trust whatever pops into your mind, think about it and strengthen that connection. Through this process you can reorganize your mental "database" and find new connections that not only help you to memorize things better but also to think more intelligently and creatively.

Now back to the story I started with. I was playing around with some of these snapshoting techniques and I was trying to figure out a way to memorize a more complicated image. To experiment I started memorizing what the entire bus looked like. To do this I looked ahead and mentally broke the bus down into much smaller and more simple components. Then I focused on an individual component and took a snapshot. Next I snap-shot a component that was adjacent and also made note of how the two were connected and held together. As I worked my way through more of the bus I noticed that I was spiraling. Constructing the image by spiraling outward allows for more connections to be made than by moving horizontal or vertical.



The people who memorize a location using a spiral examination probably had broken the room down into smaller components whereas the side-to-side examiners likely either broke the room up into vertical slabs or simply looked at the eye catching objects while moving across, ignoring the space between them and giving them no connection. If the goal is to memorize as much as possible the slab technique would work better than the individual objects, but the spiral technique trumps them both. Most people don't use the spiral technique or even the slab technique because in our day to day lives we do not have time to memorize everything and so few people develope a method of doing this; instead just remembering a few isolated important details. I think if we were trained from an early age how to do this it would come more naturally and it would be easy for us to remember as much as we need instead of struggling when the number of things to remember exceeds 7.

For some things it can be helpful to try and imagine how they got to look the way they do. Sometimes this is easier and faster than using the spiraling method. For instance I was looking at a pair of pants wadded up on the floor of my room and I was trying to memorize their exact shape in that position. I started by snapshotting the outline but I still found it somewhat difficult to remember because it was a very complicated shape. So instead I visualized what the pants look like when they lay flat which is a very simple shape. Then looked at the wad on the floor and piece by piece wadded my mental image of the pants until it matched the image I was actually seeing. To make this a bit more long term I can imagine how they actually got this way (because certainly I did not carefully wad them up and place them on the floor), seeing myself getting ready for bed mentally imagining how they fold as I take them off and then lazily toss them across the room until they land and complete the last few folds.

My Prime-Based Transparent Numerical System

Hi everyone! I want to share a little bit of what I've been working on. Here are some images of the numerical system I am developing. It is prime based and designed to teach a better understanding of the mathematical world. Our current system is too locked into base-10 and because of this it is difficult to work in other bases and we are a bit blinded to the true nature of mathematics and the magical patterns contained therein. I've made a video explaining how and why I came up with this system which will be posted within the next few days. But I wanted to go ahead and get my scans up now while the video is processing.

Here is the first half of the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6C3IeErv2g

Here are the sheets where I worked out the first 91 numbers. Note that this system is incomplete at this time so much is missing. The pronunciations are all Esperanto based spelling. The Ŝ is the same as "sh" in English. i like "ee" in "tree." u like "o" in "do." e like "e" in "slept." a like "a" in "father."






The following two images show how this system can be used in any base, with ease. To a person familiar with the Prime Base system, conversion between bases is an easy task.






And finally my favorite. It is a game I created that finds prime numbers, teaches the new numerical system AND teaches about some of the patterns in math. Can you figure out how it works? (I'll be explaining it later.) This page of notes also shows just a little of how I've developed the system along with a few notes in Esperanto on further ideas.

Chicken and Egg solution

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

The egg.

The very first animal that met the requirements of chickenhood must have been conceived of two not chickens since before it no chickens existed. The unfertilized egg in the female's body was not a chicken egg until it was fertilized. This fertilized egg was the first chicken egg, out of which came the first chicken.

If you are creationist then two chickens came first, fresh off of the God assembly line - the eggs are just there to test your faith. Hold fast!

A Man After My Own Heart

"this is to be a collection without order, taken from many papers which I have copied here, hoping to arrange them later each in its place, according to the subjects of which they may treat. But I believe that before I am at the end of this I shall have to repeat the same things several times; for which, O reader! do not blame me, for the subjects are many and memory cannot retain them and say: 'I will not write this because I wrote it before.' And if I wished to avoid falling into this fault, it would be necessary in every case when I wanted to copy that, not to repeat myself, I should read over all that had gone before; and all the more since the intervals are long between one time of writing and the next."

"I know that many will call this useless work; and they will be those of whom Demetrius 8 declared that he took no more account of the wind that came out their mouth in words, than of that they expelled from their lower parts: men who desire nothing but material riches and are absolutely devoid of that of wisdom, which is the food and the only true riches of the mind. For so much more worthy as the soul is than the body, so much more noble are the possessions of the soul than those of the body. And often, when I see one of these men take this work in his hand, I wonder that he does not put it to his nose, like a monkey, or ask me if it is something good to eat."

~Leonardo Da Vinci

Most arguments

"What have you got in that bag?"

"Its!"

"Its . . . what?"

"Its."

"What is it?"

"It's its!"

"Its what?!

"Its a bag of its."

"A bag of it's what?"

"Its nothing! It's just its."

"What?"

An interesting observation on Writing

I've been noticing that when I don't write my ideas out they tend to "clog-up" my brain. Ideas come to me everyday, but I've noticed that ever since I started back at school and stopped writing they have gradually slowed. However, when I wrote the entry from Thursday it felt like it kind of cleaned me out and allowed further thoughts to flow. Often I think of a good idea and don't want to forget it. So, if I think of one during the car ride home, it plagues me the entire drive and hinders my thought on other topics. Usually, in an average car ride and if I'm not distracted, I reach my destination with four ideas that I don't want to forget. Most often I remember maybe one of them by the time I'm at a place I can write it out I really need to start carrying a notebook in my pocket and maybe get an audio recorder for my car. . .

Actually, I just got a really good idea. I'll call my Google voice number and leave myself a voice mail! That way I'll already have the audio file in a digital format that is easy to organize AND I'll get a rough transcription for when I want to write more about it later!

Well, I'm glad I wrote this. That was a good idea.

The importance of "Why?"

We often are faced with an objective situation for which we cannot find any objective reason. Sometimes, in these situations we are never-the-less faced with the question: "Why?"

Usually, in order to move on with our lives peacefully we come to some form of this answer: "That's just the way it is." This is a great step, now we can accept reality and continue on in a productive manner. This is especially helpful if the situation was emotionally paralyzing, such as the death of a close and/or good person.

But if we just stop here we miss a great opportunity to learn. "That's just the way it is." is a solid answer, but it is not the only answer you have in your mind. If you are honest with yourself you will find that somewhere in your mind you have another explanation. It may seem a little weird, crazy, cruel, harsh, over-sensitive or it may even seem a bit dull. No matter what your answer is, it is important. This answer is one of the truest reflections of who you are. Meditate on it, think (or pray!) about it before you go to bed; ask yourself why you think this, or feel this way. But even if it is negative DO NOT beat yourself up over it! Try this: "This is just the way I am right now." If you do not like what you find then you must change it, but you will get nowhere by getting down on yourself (actually, this negative thinking will ensure that you NEVER change for the better). Again, if you catch yourself doing this, don't get down on yourself. Accept the way you are, but also accept that you CAN change. Accepting yourself may include accepting the fact that you are too hard on yourself! Do not stifle this anger, but redirect it. Use it to motivate yourself, not destroy yourself. (I.E. if something makes you mad don't yell at it, CHANGE it!) Look back on your life. There is no doubt that you have changed many times; the only difference is that now you are guiding your change.

It is also important to note what types of situations to which we ask "Why?" as this also reveals an aspect of who we are.

Do not underestimate the importance of knowing yourself. In my opinion, if you do not know yourself then there is little else of importance that you can know. For instance when you know yourself you can know others better because you can weed out all of your own traits that you have projected onto them without realizing it. Not to mention that by knowing who you are today you can understand how to become the person you want to be tomorrow.



Let's think some more about "That's just the way it is."

This is an extremely important answer that is not simple, though the sentence itself is. Think about this sentence, which is contained within: "That is the way it is." This is the ONLY fact we will ever know without any assumptions. But we must keep in mind that what we see isn't always what is there, so the real sentence is: "That is the way I perceive it." "it" in both of these sentences refers to reality; "that" refers to the situation. So, our perception essentially becomes our reality. This is how we can come to know ourselves through seemingly external situations.

This doesn't have to be restricted to situations; it can also be applied to any observation you make of the universe or anything in it.

Now, look at this piece of abstract art:





What "why" questions does this bring to your mind? Now please post any question you come up with below. It does not matter how simple or complicated it is (or even seemingly irrelevant) the question IS important. Post anonymously if you want.

Coming Soon: Short Stories

Hey! Sorry about the lag in posts, school started up and has been keeping me busy. But, I have two short stories in the works and hope to be posting at least one of them shortly!

Alpha and Omega

I first asked myself:
If know that I do not know everything then how do I know that what I know is right?

I then asked myself:
What is common between Science and Art?

I then realised that the answer to both questions was the same.

Religion is Art

Last edited: 1/22/2010

Ok, I must apologize a bit. I had some important realizations today. I have come to understand more about what I wrote in both the "Our Purpose" and the "Why I am Not a Christian" posts. I knew fully well while writing "Our Purpose" that what I was writing could not be fully rationally correct. I already accepted this a month ago. I KNOW that what I believe is not in line with what I rationally think. As explained here: http://wandertowonder.blogspot.com/2009/12/disclaimer.html

This is the same thing as art. My beliefs are an artistic interpretation of all that I know. This is what art is all about, explaining something that doesn’t make rational sense.

This is what I believe belief is, an artistic interpretation.

This can explain WHY we have art and what art is. It is a way for us to communicate Truth.

I didn’t understand this and engaged people in arguments about rational pieces of a piece of art. "Our Purpose" is a piece of art that I am trying to use to inspire people in the way that I have been inspired over Christmas Break this year. The explanation is a model of the universe that may not be literally true but viewing the world this way leads to actions that promote goodness to one another, etc, but this is not its core function. The core function is to inspire a glimpse into Truth. If interpreted correctly a work of Art will lead to an insight or inspiration. I believe that this is a connection to Truth. Art cannot be wrong or right only effective or ineffective. What I said cannot be rationally argued because it was never intended to make rational sense. It can, however, be evaluated. I believe that the Bible is one of these works of great art. I believe that the Church made a mistake when they read writings that would become the Bible. They took it literally and believed that Christianity (By Christianity here I mean Christianity exactly as described in the bible) is Literally the only way to interpret God and the universe. I think that when Jesus speaks in the Bible of the one true way of Christianity he is not speaking of a single artistic interpretation of Jesus’ and the Bible’s words but of the single Truths that can be found through art, focus and love. (Edit 1/22/2010: By saying that it is only through Him that we can reach God, I believe that He means by following in His example. Not by praying to some image of Him and giving Him the specific name "Jesus." The way most of us say it isn't even what he was actually called, he has a Hebrew name with a Hebrew pronunciation. If it doesn't matter if we change his name, then why do we have to call him by a name at all? Why can we not see that there are others who act exactly as Jesus showed us but simply don't call their God "Jesus?" Does this seem like the kind of thing the God which Jesus describes would care about? Jesus, who told us not to condemn and judge others; that this judgement is for God and for God alone.)

In the post "Why I am Not a Christian" I was trying to say that I am not a Christian because I believe that religion and belief are artistic interpretations that can only be effective or ineffective but Christians (who believe there is only one correct religion) believe that belief is backed by rational fact that can be proven.

Rational proof is the only way that we can know that one religion is the only true religion. I understand that this does not mean that there cannot BE ONE correct religion, only that we cannot KNOW. I have not seen scientific proof of God or any religious belief so I believe that the proof does not exist.

If you BELIEVE that religion can be proven but cannot rationally prove every single part, then you are basing your beliefs on an artistic interpretation. You see where science is heading and believe that proof must be out there, but you have no proof of this. Or if you do, then I haven’t seen it.

Now you have to make the jump of assumption. Do you assume that there is one true religion? I believe that my perspective has given me a greater understanding of art and by continuing this I will create much more effective art than before. I am using this as my test of if my understanding of art has improved. If it has then I believe I can safely assume that I have come to better understand the purpose of art and my understanding is that art is our religion and if art is our true religion then religion cannot be proven.

You could say now: How can I say that religion cannot be proven but that I can prove that religion is art? These are two different types of proof. I don’t know any English words that can convey the difference between the two types. But I mean that you cannot prove religion with everyday truths, but that you can Prove religion through art by exposing Truth. I think the word I am looking for may be logos?

Further, I believe that in order to be able to interpret art well, or to create great art one must "purify" their spirit. This is as I described it in "Our Purpose" and as Jesus describes in the Bible. Jesus had a perfectly "clean" spirit and so he could speak to people in perfect art. This art was so clear that it could reach through even to people with very "impure" spirits and he could help them to see Truth. However I think that the words "pure" and "impure" have connotations that have been mistranslated. That is why in "Our Purpose" I use words that better convey the meaning without the connotation of guilt.

The writers of the writing in the Bible were GREATLY inspired. This was extreme artistic inspiration so great that they were able to write very clear art. But it is not as clear as Jesus because they did not have perfectly "pure" spirits. Later these writings were read by people who's intentions were good, but their spirits not very "pure" and so they could not get the meaning out of the art of the Bible and instead took it literally. Hence all of the problems of the modern Church. Now this art has become very ineffective because it is very difficult to transcribe art in written form through centuries of linguistic change and translation.


I believe that creating art is the way that we all connect with God (obviously this goes beyond just painting and drawing, etc. and on to artistic thought - which is meditation) and the result is how we communicate what we learned with other people. This is why the feelings of inspiration are so wonderful. By healing ourselves we become better at creating and interpreting art.

It feels that my whole life has prepared me for writing these blogs.

Every time I sit down to write, the answers just fly to me. I have spent my entire childhood and teenage years trying to heal myself: accepting who I am and the way that the world is. This year I made progress in leaps and bound accepting many more of these things and all of a sudden when I did, my ability to write became greatly amplified(along with other things, increased musical creativity, better understanding). When I clear out fear and doubt and only hold love and peace in my heart, the way is clear I can see exactly where I am going. In these states I feel that I know my purpose and that I know Truth. Of course I am not claiming that I am completely "pure" only that as I "purify" myself, things become clearer.

I know that you can say that these are only feelings, but then why when I follow the Truth that I have found does everything happen exactly as Truth had told me? What are we besides feelings and thoughts?

It seems that when I follow the advice of Jesus with this view of: Religion as Art, everything that Jesus described would happen, happens.

Give yourself time to reflect before you respond.

Talking to Brick Walls

The following is a conversation I had with a few people on someone’s wall on Facebook. I have not edited this at all except for changing their names to their relationship with one another (so note, when I say “Father” I am not talking about my dad or God). I only included the responses of the people participating in the “conversation.” Any addition I make now will be clearly identified with []. I myself am not proud of the way I behaved in the beginning. I allowed myself to act out of anger and spoke like an asshole. Anyways, I’m just looking for feedback on this. Especially criticisms on how I handled myself. I attempt to keep an open mind when I have conversations like this and actually consider what the other party has to say so that I do not become exactly what I am preaching against. Help me to see where it seems like I failed in this endeavor. Note that I did wait two days before posting this in order to give “Father” an opportunity to post any closing comments, but he never did so.

Daughter is praying for Rush Limbaugh.

Daughter’s Friend
I hope he makes it...that will be one step closer to a socialist nation without him[sp]

Daughter
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2418140/posts

read[sp] that. Its[sp] people's tweets about it. sick.

Daughter’s Friend
They don’t[sp] know any better. There[sp] socialist[sp] Marxist[sp] democrats[sp].

Jesse
Daughter’s Friend , I agree whole-heartedly that it is bullshit to wish death upon any person, but can someone explain to me how anyone can be a part of three mutually exclusive political parties? I keep seeing people say this but it just doesn't make any sense. If you are Socialist then by definition you aren't a Democrat or a Marxist, etc. Please stop saying this. Criticism is great, but you're going to have to provide criticism that actually makes sense. Otherwise please just don't say anything.

Daughter’s Friend
Hey Jesse- that’s[sp] called freedom of speech. You wouldn’t[sp] know about that because you sound like a pansy liberal. The word marxist[sp] was used to represent our fine leader Obama...fine? Ooops i meant terrible. He is Fidell[sp] on steroids. Everyone will see soon when the health care package goes into full effect...

Jesse
Daughter’s Friend, I'm sorry but did you even read what I said? I don't care what you say about Obama; I just want it to make sense when you say it.

Father
Hey Jesse... what Daughter’s friend is saying makes perfectly good sense to me. What scares me is that it makes no sense to you. The democratic party[sp] has been hijacked by marxist[sp], socialist. [sp] That once great party who still hail John F. Kennedy as their crown achievement is the opposite of what it once was.. "Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country" is now "Don't worry. You're too stupid to know what is good for you so your country is going to do what we know is best for you. Oh, and by the way, we need all of your money to make it happen." You need to decide if that is what you want to side yourself with or at least recognize that is going on in your party and do something about it.

Jesse
Father, I'm not a Democrat; it isn't my party. I don't care that you are criticizing the administration; this is good! We always need to question who is running our country. I'm not saying that the current administration is some kind of Godsend but that people need to speak in an intelligent manner if we are ever going to make any progress as aspecies[sp]. What he says only makes sense to you because your personal definitions of these terms are not in line with the actual definitions of these political ideologies. I agree with you that our country's aim has changed for the worse in many ways, but we need to communicate clearly to remedy this. If you want to say that Obama or his administration have some ASPECTS of Marxism or socialism or whatever then you need to be clear WHICH aspects you mean. Being a Marxist mean that you believe everything that Marxism stands for, including not following OTHER political ideologies. Marxism and socialism are NOT the same thing. Understand what a word means before you use it to describe a person, or a group of people.

Jesse
I understand that he is TRYING to say that the current administration has aspects of Marxism and socialism. But because he actually used these words in an incorrect manner I do not know which aspects he is trying to communicate so his statement (and those of thousands of others I have seen and heard) doesn't communicate anything but an extremely vague idea: that the current administration has some aspects of Marxism and socialism. This leads me to believe that they doesn't[sp. . . I meant “don’t” (this sentence originally said “he” but I changed it to “they” right before I posted it)] actually know what they are talking about and simply are repeating things that they have heard but did not understand. By this same logic people could start saying ridiculous things like "Christians are Satanists!" This is the same thing; Christianity has one aspect in common with Satanism, they both go to a church and have a ritual. But we all know that these two religions are quite different.

Jesse
Understand that I am not indenting to insult or step on anyone's opinions; I just know that we need to all learn to speak to one another with clarity, understanding and respect before this country is ever going to get out of this shithole. I believe that this is what God wants us to do. Do you disagree with this? If so then I will shut up, because I know that arguing values is a pointless endeavor.


Father
@ Jesse... I welcome the dialogue. Don't get me wrong... I think the republicans fiscally fucked things up and got us rolling down a steep hill. No doubt. Some of the things they employed were also very socialistic. The drug program for the elderly is one. Clearly the country was in debt at the end of Bush's term. But Obama and the dems have made that fiscal disgrace look like a misers convention. His signing off on this last years spending spree (and to think that this was to "save the economy" is a pork filled joke) in the face of what we were up against has been despicable and irresponsible. But what can you expect from a Saul Alinsky following community organizer with no experience at running anything? You dig into that ilk and you will find yourself knee deep in socialist and marxist[sp] beliefs that drive their actions. That is undeniable. Barack is our first affirmative action president. We elected this guy with hearts on our sleeves and boy was that stupid. No one knew him or where he came from. You weren't allowed to ask or your[sp] were a racist. He talked a great game. Now we got what we got. This is a very dangerous lot in power right now and I do not like them. Do the republicans have a solution? Not that I can see. They suffer from the same ugly ass disease. They have all been around too long and have made self serving careers at the publics[sp] expense. I am for a big broom and pushing everyone of the SOB's out and getting some in there that understand the concept of public service with respect for the constitution. Or it's divided we fall.

Jesse
I think we can put whoever we want in charge and it still isn't going to change anything. We don't need to change our president, we need to change ourselves. Far too many of us likes[sp] to sit at home and blame the politicians (and other people). But if we all sit around and scream at each other instead of conversing then the president can NEVER please even most of us. No matter what, pretty much half of our country is always going to be unhappy with the president's decisions. For some idiotic reason we have decided to let our opinions divide us into separate nations.

Healing starts with encouraging others to quite[sp] wasting half their time trying to change people's opinions and the other half flinging insults! This also sets an example for our children so that they can carry us further forward. Instead of shitting on people because of our differences, we need to be exploring our similarities. We are all here trying to survive, love, raise families and fulfill our purpose, but instead of helping one another we make all of these things difficult for each other. All because the other person has the OPINION that the plan that you THINK will work, won't.

And people can't just sit there and say "Well THEY aren't going to do it, so I'm not going to." I mean, if you really do think like a 3rd grader I suppose you should at least do it to show the other person up. NO, IT HAS TO BE YOU! YOU! have to start NOW, it is your responsibility as a caring American citizen. Stop judging everyone else and judge yourself. Do your actions match your beliefs?

Working together is the ONLY plan that will save us.

Nobody can fulfill the president's job completely until WE all decide to and agree on compromises and vote for the same guy.

Until we find a way to unite, it's divided we fall.


Father
They will be glad to know you bought it Jesse. That is exactly what they want you to think... that you and I are the problem and not them. You need to read up on Saul Alinsky. I would figure a guy stuck in such parsimony as to question the difference between socialist beliefs that lead to socialism versus entrenched socialism would be smart enoughnot[sp] to fall for "it's your fault... if you people would quit disagreeing, get in line and get it together then we could effectively govern." Certainly has worked just great for the people in places like China, North Korea, Iran, Cuba, Venezuela, Russia (pretty much any oppressed country in the world)....

Jesse
So you are saying that infighting promotes solutions?

It isn't that I value parsimony so much, but that I want people to think about what they say before they say it and to think about what they hear before they repeat it. It is that simple. That is my entire argument. You are continually putting words into my mouth. I hope that this is due to misunderstanding and not lobbyism.

It is impossible that they "Have gotten to me." Because I don't listen to "them." I don't watch the news, I don't read the newspaper. Hell, I don't even watch TV. I really don't care about politicians and so I ignore them for the most part as I already said above. I don't listen to the same person spewing their opinion everyday. I get my news about America and about the world through several various international news sources so that I may have a perspective that is in balance with humanity. I get my advice by studying the writings of our forefathers and other great thinkers of the past. By what means are "they" controlling me? My information sources do not trace back to them. Did they implant a device in my brain? This is where your suggestion is leading - conspiracy theory.

None of your argument seems to have arisen from logical thought. What are your sources of information?

I look at the facts and then draw conclusions. I am trained as an engineer, I think as an engineer. I am not the one repeating nonsense sentences. You have no reason to conclude that my thoughts are not original conclusions except from your own preconceived notions. You have already assumed (incorrectly) that I am a Democrat based on no real evidence. By what logic do you assume that I am brainwashed? READ what I am writing and stop adding your own illusions.

To come to same conclusion that I did above you only need to read the writing of great philosophers of the past and apply their writings to today's issues. Or do you think that Jesus' word no longer applies? Is listening to his advice "falling for something" as you say? Jesus taught All of the values which I push in my argument above. I am merely attempting to show people how to relate his teachings to today's world and encouraging them to do so. Why are you so against this? (I am assuming you are Christian, since you sent your daughter to Christian schools and thus are familiar with these teachings. If I am incorrect, I apologize.)

How can you honestly believe that if we attempted to work together nothing would work? If I had as little faith in humanity I would have given up long ago. . .

Besides this you rat on China which DOES have a lot of issues, I know. But did you also notice that with their government model they were able to take China from a state of utter devastation (Civil war, recovering from the opium trade pushed by Britain, poverty, lack of technology) to one of the most productive countries in the world in under 50 years? You CANNOT deny this fact. What they did was AMAZING. This is why Chinese citizens are proud of their government. Everyone from a different country is not an idiot like you seem to think. Obviously there are many flaws and they still have a while to go but, certainly we can learn something from what they did. Their actions were drastic because their situation was drastic. If we don't wait too long, our's will not have to be quite so drastic.

An intelligent person can learn to see which aspects of a broken system are good ideas, it is a fool who would ignore the entire system and miss an opportunity to learn.

Jesse
Why do you think that people keep using words like “Communist”, “Socialist” and “Marxist” instead of just describing the actual platforms and political positions they disagree with? It is obvious. These are SCARE tactics. People don’t associate these words with the actual ideologies they refer to but with the countries which implemented CORRUPTED versions of them. The fear and propaganda from the cold war is still ingrained within the American heart. The U.S.S.R. was a terrible example of what communism actually is but that is what many people think the word means. So, people pushing their political opinions use these words to instill a sense of emergency. They want to make their political opponents seem like these crazy evil people to Americans who don’t understand what these words actually mean. Then these people go around and spread the propaganda for them. Again I’ll go back to my Christianity – Satanism example: If I want the new people in town to stay away from the Christians, I’ll just tell them that the Christians are just like the Satanists. If I spoke clearly and accurately (The Christians go to a church and so do the Satanists) they would have no reason to be afraid.

Father
Your view of China tells me enough. "They are AMAZING." China built what they have on oppression and on the backs of children. They force the people to work at pennies a day and allow them to have one child. If that child is not a male, you accept your lower status in society. And guess what made their country so great in the last 50 years? Think about it? Where did most of our manufacturing jobs go? 50 years a go[sp] they were all here. Now they are there... the reason is for what I stated above... take that one to Jesus. Who buys most of what they manufacture now? We do. Pick up just about anything you buy and underneath it has a little sticker that says "Made in China." So what prosperous country spent their money on goods in China thereby allowing them to prosper? We did. They did not do this in a vacuum. They are not AMAZING. Unless you buy into oppression, child labor and killing those who disagree with you. Again, not much Christ like in any of that. However you come to your conclusions and from what source matters not to me. It's your conclusions that are bothersome. And there is no way you read a thing on our forefathers and have a walk away that what China has done has been AMAZING. People like you scare the fuck out of me. You talk with fairly intelligent sentence structure and talk about coming together for the greater good and at the same time spew out it's because of Jesus and his teachings and what China has done has been AMAZING. You sir are very conflicted and I can see why people like myself make little to no sense to you. And understand this. I prefer to keep it that way. I am tired of attempting to be politically correct only to save the feelings of the moronic. It only encourages the idiots and thieves among us. If you are an idiot, then you are part of the problem and not the solution. How can we ever fix the problems when we do not allow ourselves to point them out as they occur or assign them to the ones creating them? And good luck with your Jesus thing. You got part of that figured out correctly.

Jesse
Ok, clearly you don't respect me enough to actually read what I am writing. I clearly stated that the methods they used were extreme. I didn't say that they are amazing, I said that the achievement was amazing. You are so completely black and white about everything. You SAID that you welcomed a dialog but you aren't participating in one.Instead[sp] you keep picking off irrelevant side components of what I am saying and arguing about them. This is pointless, [sp] I'm done speaking with you. You don't know how or are not willing to have a conversation.

Our Purpose

Edit 5/1/10: I apologize for not realizing this sooner, but this post may be misinterpreted if you have not read this first: Religion is Art

I use a convention of capitalizing Truth to mean the universal Truth that is God. You can experience Truth, but you cannot be told Truth (except possibly through art, but art is an experience so you aren't really being told). Lowercase truth is the day to day understanding of truth. You can be told or witness truth but you cannot experience truth. truth is based upon perspective, Truth is above perspective.

You cannot use a pronoun when talking about God. A pronoun cannot apply to God. The word God doesn’t even apply to God, it is just a filler word. It means something that we cannot comprehend. But remember that this is not because God thinks God is so much better than us, this simply is the way that it is. AND now for (probably) the first time you’ve heard it HERE is the reason why:

I was petting my cat and thinking.

I know why we are all here. Our purpose. Why God put us on Earth. It is to further God. I do not mean to say that this is an act of selfishness! Selfishness cannot apply to God, for God is all. Everything is a part of God for God is the whole of existence, but the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. This is not Godly arrogance, but simple FACT.

God is the universal consciousness that guides existence. To attempt to understand God we must first understand what consciousness IS. What you ARE. You are nothing more than a network of interacting neurons. An interacting network of extremely basic, elementary parts that ( in some way we do not yet, or perhaps cannot, understand) form a whole greater than the sum of its parts namely, YOU. This isn’t symbolic, it isn’t fairy tale. We know this, we have opened up our heads and looked inside and this is what we have found: a mess of tiny little cells just sending tiny little bursts of energy.

Think now about society. What is society? Society is a very complicated network of very complicated individual parts. It works a little differently, yes but how can we say that the effect would not be similar? How can we deny that the network of billions of extremely complicated humans forms a form of consciousness, a Human consciousness that we simply cannot comprehend because it is far more complex than us?

Now think about EVERYTHING. Everything that exists in our universe. It all interacts. Our universe is an Awesomely complex network. And yes it forms a consciousness: God. This isn’t crazy talk, just think about it. Consciousness is nothing more than a complex network, the universe IS a complex network. On top of this when you apply this logic you come up with a being that would have characteristics that explain pretty much every important description of a universal consciousness from pretty much every human religion. Is this REALLY a coincidence?

We are: God furthering the possibilities of existence. Early on, the universe was much simpler because it was made up of simple parts. God grew by adding more complexities, growing God to understand more. We are the most complex aspect of God that we know of. Our PURPOSE is to further ourselves so that we further God because we are God and this is what God does.

We must recognize that we are an inseparable part of God. When we learn to heal ourselves we are able to fully connect and BE God so that we may DO God's Will. This isn't a bossy thing though. God isn’t sitting up in some clouds telling us what to do. And God isn’t a dickhead either. We have to heal ourselves (Concept of Original Sin) before we can truly connect with God but it is not because God is disgusted by our impurity as Christianity implies. It is not because we are unworthy (Otherwise God would be considering part of God unworthy. Even the Church teaches that we are all part of God and this is TRUE), but it simply is a fact that when you are so concerned with your own problems in life you simply are not capable of BEING yourself. When you do not have the courage to do what is right, you cannot do God’s Will because you don’t have the courage to do it. Not because God hates cowards. God hates NOTHING, God cannot know HATE except through us as individuals; we have the only expression of hate.

God provides Truth and some people have interpreted it into laws, but these laws are short lived! Truth does not change with time but written word DOES. This is FACT.

THIS is the Good News that Jesus was trying to explain to us 2000 years ago, but we forgot about Truth the moment we wrote it down in a book in the form of parables and laws. Jesus taught us to treat all people well and to help them to HEAL themselves because we are ALL part of the same WHOLE. No person is any better than any other person because EVERY person is God. The only problem is that we are damaged and caught up so much in our own lives that we have FORGOTTEN how to be a part of the WHOLE. Sin is not something that God is mad at us for, it is much more like a distraction. We must stop thinking in these ways of self-righteousness and begin to help others to be righteous but we CANNOT do this except through God in OURSELVES.

We MUST begin to heal ourselves before we can help others to heal. As soon as you start to connect to God and heal, God will show you the rest of the way and give you all of the hope, strength and motivation to do it (but you must know how to talk to God FIRST). As God teaches you how to heal you can share what you learn with other people. The only way to do this is through example and openness.

The Good News is that we are all actually part of God, not symbolically. You are no better than any other person, you simply have found Truth. It is not your Truth. If you treat it as your Truth it becomes truth; you will believe that you are better than others and you will not be capable of sharing God’s message because you will lose your connection with God. You must share Truth with everyone, BUT before you can do this, you MUST believe that the person you are sharing with is your total equal. Before this, you simply are not fit to do God’s Will because you do not believe God’s message. When you have truly connected with God you will have no choice but to believe God’s message because to experience God is to experience Truth for God is Truth and Truth is undeniable.

At least. . . this is what God told me today.


Later I am going to write about how I have been able to find connections with God. It is a very difficult topic to write about and mostly I will just be sharing things that I have learned and connected from various religious experiences, as well as new experiences I continue to have.

I really need community input on this! Together we can enhance our understanding of God and life. Share your experiences and always seek more. Communicate! My viewpoint is limited because I am only one person. What I write above is only my best attempt to transcribe Truth into truth in modern day English with modern Scientific understanding. I think I did a pretty good job but I am not an enlightened being, I have only captured tiny gems of Truth in my understanding. Together we can bring these gems together. Together we are able to think more as God because we become more than ourselves. This why community work and group gathering is encouraged in so many religions.

Why I am not Christian

Edit 5/1/10: I apologize for not realizing this sooner, but this post may be misinterpreted if you have not read this first: Religion is Art

I understand now why I cannot accept Christianity as the one true religion. It is because while exploring other religions I have come across Truths and wisdoms that I cannot deny. Truths that I have felt with the entirety of my being. Truths that I was never able to experience through Christianity. Sure there were things that I was told in Christianity that I know to be true but they only ever made sense in the context of other religions. Christianity told me a few truths. Buddhism, Mysticism, and Witchcraft REVEALED them to me.

For example the koans of Buddhism present a student with a rationally impossible question or contradiction. Through contemplation the student eventually finds a way to accept the contradiction, an answer is found and Truth is revealed. I was faced with one of these contradictions myself: I know that I do not know everything (and therefore I know nothing) but I must believe that I am correct. When I was finally able to accept this my life changed drastically for the better.

Another Buddhist teaching is to not run from pain and suffering but to embrace them. This is one of the teachings that has probably helped me more than anything. Running from suffering only causes more suffering because there always comes a time when doing the right thing will cause you suffering. You must embrace this suffering because it is what is right. When you have the strength to embrace this, you find that suffering is not so terrible when it is right. Buddhism teaches that suffering is a natural part of life and by believing this I am able to be a better person who acts with courage and upholds his morals. Many of the teachings of Christianity are about being saved from suffering if they only follow the rules, but I believe that this leads people to do things so that they can be saved, not to be righteous. By believing this many people never face their fear of suffering and become courageous because they are waiting to be saved from their fear. So, when times are good they are decent Christians but when the going gets tough many of them falter.

Most of the rituals of Witchcraft are truly not much more than ancient methods of mind hacking. You take advantage of the symbolic meanings that your mind uses and use them to focus your mind on whatever goal you want to achieve. By focusing your mind, it is always subconsciously working towards that goal and coming up with new ways for you to achieve it. The results are pretty miraculous. It works.

Religion reflects your interpretation of the world. It is the meaning you find in life. A source of answers for the questions that you cannot answer.

Certainly many of you have found many or all of these same Truths through Christianity. I could not, but I did find them elsewhere.

People practice different religions because they WORK. If they did not find true fulfillment in it, then they would not practice it. Of course there are some people who practice a religion without really caring about it. These are the people who never found Truth in the religion they were taught and never realize what they are missing. The thing is, I've never met a Buddhist, Mystic, Witch or Pagan who had not found Truth in their religion (I know several people who practice these). Whereas MOST of the people I know are essentially non-practicing or what I like to call "Holiday Christians." Besides a hand full people, the only Christians I know who have really found Truth and meaning in Christianity are very old.

Christianity is a religion with relatively inefficient teaching methods, they are far too indirect. Why are we still teaching only in parables? Parables are for illiterate people who must pass down values and wisdom through oral tradition and they are FANTASTIC for this. But in today's world literacy is MUCH higher. Relative to the people of Israel some 2000 years ago the people of this country are pretty well educated. Besides this, these parables are AT LEAST 2000 years old. Most of the literature from the bible is not written in today’s terms. When you combine this with the previous fact it is no wonder it takes a Christian her or his entire life to realize Truths that monks in Tibet knew by the time they were 10.

For one thing, Christianity doesn't really tell you what you need to do in order to communicate with God. The best I got was vague advice like : "Just listen for God and he will speak to you." "Pray and God will answer." "Look in your heart, God is there." No priest EVER told me HOW to listen for God. I know that there are Christians out there who know how to do this, and could explain it and teach it but it is NOT part of the core teachings of Christianity. What Christianity does is give people a set of rules to follow so that they can be a good person instead of showing them how to listen to God and have him tell them himself. This is fantastic for uneducated people because EVENTUALLY through living this way they WILL find God (pretty much by chance though) and you never really have to explain a thing to them. They follow the rules because they are afraid of the consequences not because God is leading their heart. This is why Christianity is so popular, it is a religion for people who do not want to focus on spirituality. But for the persons who really are seeking to find Truth, there are much faster methods. Buddhism and Witchcraft directly teach you first to heal yourself and connect with divinity. You then use this connection to know what to do in tough moral situations instead of consulting the rule book which may not apply to the situation anyways AND will be written in a form that was designed to relate to peasants from thousands of years ago AND has been translated through several languages.


If people KNEW God, they would not behave in the way that they do.


The Church has pretty much destroyed everything that Jesus set out to do. Jesus wanted people to get to know God and let him touch your heart and show you your purpose. The Church wants you to follow rules. The Church has failed at its ONLY goal.

I'm not saying that Buddhism is perfect. I'm saying that no religion is perfect. Different people need to hear things in different ways in order to understand them and so different people NEED different religions.

True, I could be wrong and based on Christian theology I am putting quite a bit on the line here. People have used this as an argument against me and I could not answer until now. I cannot just follow a religion because it COULD be right because anyone can make up a religion and tell me that if I don't follow it I'll be screwed. True, Christianity is well established making it a bit more likely to be true. But several other religions are well established and Christianity hasn't been established for as long as many of them. Earth based religions are the oldest. I judge a religion by the quality of life (level of fulfillment, satisfaction, wisdom, good works towards others) of the people who follow it and how quickly they achieve it. Of the religions to which I have had a fair amount of exposure, Christianity is in last place.

A true student of Truth needs to study all of the major religions in order to find ALL the Truths that humanity has uncovered. Truth is undeniable. Truth cannot be told, only experienced. Christianity currently uses the "easiest", but most roundabout way of teaching its Truths. By applying wisdom from other religions I have been able to discover some of the Truths of Christianity.

Perhaps one day a great person will come to unify the Truth's of these different religions. Or perhaps as a collective we can work together with other religions to share these Truths and build our own perfect religion.