A bit of my past and what growing up was like for me circa 1995 - 2002. Includes a few of the reasons I now believe I may have Asperger's as my mother now tells me she had begun to suspect years and years ago. I got a lot of this out of a few of my old notebooks from high school where I had tried to document my history and my development. Other parts come from discussion with my mother. My analysis is now much more complete.
Looking back a little on the history of my once poor visual memory, I often was too distracted by my imagination to really focus much on what things really looked like. It took some training for me to really be able to start paying attention to things like this when I was directed to. In contrast, when thinking alone to myself I would often stare deeply at an object paying careful attention to every detail and day dreaming about it. I would do this for hours if no one came to interrupt me. I could recall these things perfectly, but the psychologists never got to see this side of me. I've always loved to do this and I think it has greatly contributed to my overall intelligence. I got a lot of practice thinking, as it is what I did with most of my time; I did not have many friends and those I did have I saw rarely outside of school. During recess I usually sat alone and imagined things because I did not enjoy doing what most of the other children did. They wanted to play sports or to imagine by playing archetypal roles. I preferred to imagine things morphing and changing, flying around and becoming other things. I liked to imagine colorful, curving and swirling beams of light that had different effects on the things they passed through. I really liked the television show "My Little Pony" with the unicorns and pegasuses because of all of the light and color themes they had. I think this may be why I called this imaginary world "magic." I spoke of "magic" incessantly to my mother and anyone else who would listen. As a younger child I did not realize that these things were not real and that other people did not see them. When I reached 3rd grade it started to become more apparent to me because my classmates would tease me when I spoke about it, but I still did not understand that it was because their world was very different from mine. I think they thought I was crazy. Interestingly, the teasing did not bother me unless they were outright mean to me. Other situations in which they laughed at me were actually enjoyable for me because I liked the laughter. So, I learned what made them laugh and engaged them in it often. It took me a year or two to understand that they were trying to be cruel - that the laughter and the mean behavior stemmed from the same thing. When I realized this, I realized that the "magic" of my imagination was not real, though I still found it enjoyable and so engaged in it often.
As soon as I found out that it wasn't real I began to pray every night that it could be real. I did not enjoy the nightmarish world I was beginning to see that everyone else was trapped in. I knew that I needed to understand it in order to have friends and be accepted but it was difficult. Now I knew that I was different but still didn't know that it was unusual to have such an active imagination. I did not connect this to my poor grades in subjects which I could not focus or that it was what made me different. I knew that I had ADD and attributed everything to this, but didn't really know what it meant. They told me I couldn't pay attention and they gave me medicine to fix it. I didn't like the medicine, it made me feel weird and it took away much of my comforting world. However I liked getting better grades because it made everyone around me happy. I loved to see people smile so much and to know that I made them happy, especially people I looked up to like my parents and my teachers, so I dealt with it for a few years.
I learned how to play pretend with my friends at this age. It wasn't as much fun as my imagination but I liked interacting with other people and this was one of the only ways I could do it. I thought sports were pretty boring until I got older.
7th grade I started consciously realizing that if I wanted to do well in class I would have to ignore my imagination and pay attention to the teacher if I wanted to score well on tests. This was after I stopped taking ADD medicine which had just taken the imagination away from me. When I learned how to control my imagination and subdue it I started doing much better in school and my ability to read other people's emotions improved because I could focus more on subtleties I had not previously taken note of. This helped me to understand more about other people and other to act like one of them. I built a shell through which I could interface with the "normal" people. At the time I thought I had fixed myself, I thought "Now I am normal, now they will like me, now I will understand them." I was excited when I started out at high school because I felt like I had a fresh start where everyone didn't know of my bizarre actions at a younger age. I thought I had a real chance of just being like everyone else, of having lots of friends to do stuff with. More than anything I wanted a group of friends like I always saw in the movies and TV shows. I continued with this mindset until summer 2003 when I was introduced to the band A Fire Inside (AFI). They explained everything to me. But I'll tell that story later.
Showing posts with label ADD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ADD. Show all posts
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
ADD/ADHD: Why the Psychiatric View of ADD is Atrocious
In third grade I was diagnosed with ADHD. I was put on medication and told that my brain was broken. Recently I have discovered that my ADHD is my most important talent. Good thing I stopped taking the medicine! (Please note, some people do have ADHD so bad that they WILL need medication for things like driving, etc but I still believe these people should spend periods of time off medication)
This essay is primarily aimed towards people with ADD or ADHD (and parents who have just discovered that their children have it) who have been told their entire lives that they are somehow handicapped, but the ideas and techniques here can be put to EXCELLENT use by ANYONE. ADD/ADHD is simply a classification for people whose minds make associations faster than average and cause distraction when trying to complete day to day tasks. Everyone's mind does this to a degree (Which is why these techniques will work for anyone) it is simply so extreme with ADD/ADHD people that it causes severe distraction. This distraction causes the person to have extra difficulty in a traditional learning environment. Unfortunately we have managed to completely ignore the amazing benefits that also come with ADD. Instead of embracing the child's differences (aka TALENTS, all talents have a trade-off) we suppress them and then are surprised when they don't excel. Here I explain why our view of this "disorder" is effectively helping us to destroy ourselves.
Basically, our society has deemed thinking too fast a "disorder." ADD/ADHD should not be treated with pharmaceuticals except in the most extreme cases. If you have ADD or ADHD it DOES NOT mean that there is something wrong with you!
It means that you were born to be a thinker.
Be proud of this. You will be faced with difficulties that many other people do not, but the benefits are fantastic. However, you WILL have to train yourself (or your children) in order to take advantage of these benefits.
Your mind works a little differently than what society calls "normal." You cannot stop your mind from thinking at ridiculous speeds. Yes, this will make it difficult to concentrate on what you are "supposed" to be and you will have to learn to cope with this. But take a minute and THINK about what is happening here: Your "problem" is that while you are experiencing something your mind begins to automatically make thousands of associations at an alarming rate and yes it can be a bit distracting. However, if you are able to hone this amazing ability a little bit it means that you can use your mind to create new connections much faster than "normal" people. Because you can make these connections faster it is more likely that you will make connections no one else has ever made because you won't need as much time to realize them.
The awesome part is that this all happens AUTOMATICALLY! With the right technique training you can put your mind almost on auto-pilot for solving problems and discovering new ideas.
The first thing you must learn is how to capture these ideas as fast as you think of them without interrupting the process. Until a better technique comes along I suggest developing shorthand and learning how to write extremely fast (I'll be developing and posting techniques for both of these). Always carry a notebook with you. As ideas and solutions magically appear in your mind, attempt to capture the framework of each one. Later, you will use this framework to fill in the gaps and re-build the idea from your notes. (When re-building you should be able to use the other amazing ADD/ADHD specific ability: hyperfocusing, to really develop it further) You do not have time to write the entire idea as you originally think it or you will slow down your mind and miss hundreds of others that you may never have the opportunity to think of again.
When you first start to do this (especially if at a young age) the ideas you have may not exactly be genius, but as you progress through life you will come to understand more. More understanding makes your mind far more powerful. The more powerful your mind, the more genius your ideas will become and these new ideas will build understanding.
The more ideas you capture,
The more you will understand.
The more you understand,
The more ideas you will have.
Start now! Just write down all the little ideas that pop into your mind throughout the day. You will be surprised at what you come up with.
Always trust yourself. If an idea feels important then it IS important, at least for your understanding. Attempt to prioritize, write down what feels most important first.
Reading intellectually stimulating writing is an important part of this process because it has a high concentration of good ideas that someone has already thought of. This will provide inspiration and help you build a knowledge base for your mind to use for idea creation. If your knowledge base is not in line with reality, then neither will your ideas be. Think of this as tuning your mind to resonate with reality. Because of this you must be somewhat selective in what you read, especially in the beginning. Tune your mind by reading material that is well supported. But remember to always question and think about what you read! That is the point of all of this. Also, for beneficial growth you must have the courage to say what you think and believe. Talk to people about your ideas, share with them. The right people will help you to come to further understanding. However, again be careful because the wrong people will doubt you and reject your theories without thinking about them. These people are called "idiots." Idiots do not think, they listen to whatever they are told first, believe it and deny anything else. Idiots will do everything they can to prevent humanity from making any progress whatsoever. Ignore what the idiot says, but do not ignore the idiot. Teach them how to not be an idiot; this is your responsibility as a non-idiot. Do not be harsh, do not be cruel, do not be condescending; just inspire.
Art is another place to find inspiration and ideas. Learn how to understand art (I will be writing about this very soon). The fantastic thing about art is that it is almost impossible for it to skew your knowledge base because art is truth. Unlike regular written word, art itself cannot reveal falsities. This does not mean that you cannot come up with false conclusions after being inspired but that you can't really pick the wrong art to find inspiration. Choose whatever you are drawn to.
There are a few pitfalls you must be careful of: not paying attention to what people say and interrupting people during a conversation. You should work hard to correct these two downsides of ADD/ADHD. It takes discipline but you are capable. This is simply a part of treating people with respect. If you cannot communicate with people then anything you discover is worthless because you cannot share it with humanity. I will be writing more on the subject of clear communication in the future.
I am also working on a technique for memorizing these ideas you have. With this you will not be limited by anything except the speed of your mind and remember that having an amazingly fast mind is what you have been told is your problem. . .
When the world realizes this, they are going to all wish they could be like you.
This essay is primarily aimed towards people with ADD or ADHD (and parents who have just discovered that their children have it) who have been told their entire lives that they are somehow handicapped, but the ideas and techniques here can be put to EXCELLENT use by ANYONE. ADD/ADHD is simply a classification for people whose minds make associations faster than average and cause distraction when trying to complete day to day tasks. Everyone's mind does this to a degree (Which is why these techniques will work for anyone) it is simply so extreme with ADD/ADHD people that it causes severe distraction. This distraction causes the person to have extra difficulty in a traditional learning environment. Unfortunately we have managed to completely ignore the amazing benefits that also come with ADD. Instead of embracing the child's differences (aka TALENTS, all talents have a trade-off) we suppress them and then are surprised when they don't excel. Here I explain why our view of this "disorder" is effectively helping us to destroy ourselves.
Basically, our society has deemed thinking too fast a "disorder." ADD/ADHD should not be treated with pharmaceuticals except in the most extreme cases. If you have ADD or ADHD it DOES NOT mean that there is something wrong with you!
It means that you were born to be a thinker.
Be proud of this. You will be faced with difficulties that many other people do not, but the benefits are fantastic. However, you WILL have to train yourself (or your children) in order to take advantage of these benefits.
Your mind works a little differently than what society calls "normal." You cannot stop your mind from thinking at ridiculous speeds. Yes, this will make it difficult to concentrate on what you are "supposed" to be and you will have to learn to cope with this. But take a minute and THINK about what is happening here: Your "problem" is that while you are experiencing something your mind begins to automatically make thousands of associations at an alarming rate and yes it can be a bit distracting. However, if you are able to hone this amazing ability a little bit it means that you can use your mind to create new connections much faster than "normal" people. Because you can make these connections faster it is more likely that you will make connections no one else has ever made because you won't need as much time to realize them.
The awesome part is that this all happens AUTOMATICALLY! With the right technique training you can put your mind almost on auto-pilot for solving problems and discovering new ideas.
The first thing you must learn is how to capture these ideas as fast as you think of them without interrupting the process. Until a better technique comes along I suggest developing shorthand and learning how to write extremely fast (I'll be developing and posting techniques for both of these). Always carry a notebook with you. As ideas and solutions magically appear in your mind, attempt to capture the framework of each one. Later, you will use this framework to fill in the gaps and re-build the idea from your notes. (When re-building you should be able to use the other amazing ADD/ADHD specific ability: hyperfocusing, to really develop it further) You do not have time to write the entire idea as you originally think it or you will slow down your mind and miss hundreds of others that you may never have the opportunity to think of again.
When you first start to do this (especially if at a young age) the ideas you have may not exactly be genius, but as you progress through life you will come to understand more. More understanding makes your mind far more powerful. The more powerful your mind, the more genius your ideas will become and these new ideas will build understanding.
The more ideas you capture,
The more you will understand.
The more you understand,
The more ideas you will have.
Start now! Just write down all the little ideas that pop into your mind throughout the day. You will be surprised at what you come up with.
Always trust yourself. If an idea feels important then it IS important, at least for your understanding. Attempt to prioritize, write down what feels most important first.
Reading intellectually stimulating writing is an important part of this process because it has a high concentration of good ideas that someone has already thought of. This will provide inspiration and help you build a knowledge base for your mind to use for idea creation. If your knowledge base is not in line with reality, then neither will your ideas be. Think of this as tuning your mind to resonate with reality. Because of this you must be somewhat selective in what you read, especially in the beginning. Tune your mind by reading material that is well supported. But remember to always question and think about what you read! That is the point of all of this. Also, for beneficial growth you must have the courage to say what you think and believe. Talk to people about your ideas, share with them. The right people will help you to come to further understanding. However, again be careful because the wrong people will doubt you and reject your theories without thinking about them. These people are called "idiots." Idiots do not think, they listen to whatever they are told first, believe it and deny anything else. Idiots will do everything they can to prevent humanity from making any progress whatsoever. Ignore what the idiot says, but do not ignore the idiot. Teach them how to not be an idiot; this is your responsibility as a non-idiot. Do not be harsh, do not be cruel, do not be condescending; just inspire.
Art is another place to find inspiration and ideas. Learn how to understand art (I will be writing about this very soon). The fantastic thing about art is that it is almost impossible for it to skew your knowledge base because art is truth. Unlike regular written word, art itself cannot reveal falsities. This does not mean that you cannot come up with false conclusions after being inspired but that you can't really pick the wrong art to find inspiration. Choose whatever you are drawn to.
There are a few pitfalls you must be careful of: not paying attention to what people say and interrupting people during a conversation. You should work hard to correct these two downsides of ADD/ADHD. It takes discipline but you are capable. This is simply a part of treating people with respect. If you cannot communicate with people then anything you discover is worthless because you cannot share it with humanity. I will be writing more on the subject of clear communication in the future.
I am also working on a technique for memorizing these ideas you have. With this you will not be limited by anything except the speed of your mind and remember that having an amazingly fast mind is what you have been told is your problem. . .
When the world realizes this, they are going to all wish they could be like you.
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