My Motivations for Learning Chinese

My Chinese professor asked us to write an essay about our motivations for learning Chinese. So I did an in-depth analysis of where my motivation stems from. Below is my response to her prompt.

This may be a little long and read a little “self-absorbed” but writing this out helps me to analyze and improve myself, while also fulfilling your request. I hope that you find it interesting and not too drawn out. To fully explain my motivations for learning Chinese, I must start three years ago. A new movement in my life was beginning:
December 2006, My first semester of college coming to a close I am young and full of vigor for life. I have survived the first semester in the Speed School of Engineering studying computer engineering. The school I have heard of since my childhood. My father's alma mater, rumored to be so difficult. Yet here I stand with decent grades and a good understanding of the concepts. I, the one who always felt like the slacker with the poor grades have finally achieved an academic goal of substantial repute. So it follows that I feel welled up with motivation; my ambitions are high.
On December 4th 2006 I made a series of posts to my newly started blog at http://wandertowonder.blogspot.com . In these posts I start to document some of the philosophical thoughts I'm having because I am disappointed that I have forgotten so many ideas in the past. I also lay out a series of goals I intend to achieve. Some of my plans are a bit extreme and silly, but I am never-the-less convinced that I will achieve them all. As I progress into my winter break my dreams become even more interesting. Most notably are the experimentation with polyphasic sleep cycles (Taking a 20 minute nap once every 6 hours instead of sleeping at night) and learning the international language Esperanto (世界语).
Despite my recent success and source of ambition I feel intellectually trapped and artistically restricted. To alleviate this, I begin to explore the world of foreign languages. I believe that our higher level thought patterns are so intimately integrated with language that by limiting ourselves to one language we also limit ourselves to the particular associations and therefore also to the particular viewpoints inherent in the structure of the language we are tied to. I could not stand the thought of this! At this point in time I struggle most for freedom of my mind and language exploration is purely a logical step in expanding my mind and my understanding. There is, at this point, no ethical, cultural or social aspect to my infantile language desires; it is purely fueled by intellectual ambition. I soon discover that intellectual ambition alone is not enough to power the learning of a foreign language, even if that language is one of the easiest on the planet to learn.
My intention is to use Esperanto as a stepping stone language. I have read that the most difficult aspect of learning a second language was breaking out of the “one language mindset.” After a second language is learned, the learning curve for the third language is decreased because it requires little further mindset modification. Inspired by studies done comparing French language students with Esperanto experience to those with no Esperanto experience[1] I will use the easiest-to-learn language to break this mindset thus making further language study easier. I study Esperanto heavily for three weeks, taking an online correspondence course. Much of my time is spent waiting for responses from my mentor to check my coursework. This is no problem. I have more time than I can ask for, because outside of work I have few responsibilities over this break. Not to mention, I'm only sleeping a total of 2 hours a day due to the polyphasic sleeping cycles I am trying (Note that much of this is documented in my blog's archives). I have a blast and come out being able to read and write Esperanto at a basic level. However, January comes and with it return the responsibilities of school. I am forced to resign from polyphasic sleeping due to scheduling conflicts. My motivation to run through Esperanto flash cards weekly to memorize more root words rapidly deteriorates and soon falters a month or so later.
For a two year hiatus I have little to no thoughts about Esperanto or any foreign language for that matter. It is April 2008 and I am in the last week or so of work at my first computer engineering job as a CO-OP worker at a large appliance manufacturer. I am again in a phase of self-improvement. I'm trying to eat more healthfully, I've started a media production company with my best friend Bo and girlfriend Allison to make motion pictures and I am learning how to budget and manage my money as I now have a fair amount of it for the first time in my life. I am a very different person than I was in early 2007. I've faced more of my own failures, my mental viewpoint has expanded and I judge myself by different criteria. It is time for my performance review. My boss and I spend and hour or so on a slow Friday evening discussing the work I've been doing for the past four months. During the review, my boss is emphasizing the importance of clear communication and he praises me for being able to communicate very well in various situations. He tells me that one of my most valuable traits is my ability to communicate clearly across cultural barriers, language barriers and technical knowledge barriers. After thinking for a second, a connection is made in my mind and I explain to him that I must attribute much of this to my study of Esperanto two years ago. Studying Esperanto greatly increased my understanding of the general structure of language and had revealed many insights into human communication for me. Though I have forgotten many of the details of the language, this understanding had endured and, in fact, matured while my mind subconsciously analyzed and compared it to daily observations.
Later that weekend, my in-review revelation has brought Esperanto back to the forefront my mind. I decide that I would like to give it another shot. So, I pick up a book from the library about Esperanto. Unlike the correspondence course, this book begins to introduce the culture and philosophy behind the Esperanto movement. I read samples from Esperanto literature that reinforce these ideals. I learn that the purpose of Esperanto is to spread equality across all the nations of the world. I come to see how the world could be a better place if the people of different nations could communicate directly, instead of only through the eyes of their government or media. If this were possible people would come to see that they are not so different from the people they have been told are their enemies. I can also see the injustice in the way that the world currently deals with the language problem. The people of the world are expected to learn the language of the country with economic “dominance.” The system in place is unreasonable. It helps to perpetuate the problem because learning a new language is difficult and achieving fluency in any one of the National Languages requires years of concentrated study if ever achieved at all. How is it fair for one person to be perpetually at a disadvantage when partaking in International affairs, simply because they were born in the “wrong” country at the “wrong” time while another is perpetually at an advantage? How about instead of piling the disadvantage on particular groups of people, we spread the disadvantage equally across all people? How about we teach our children both the language of our nation and a secondary language of our world? A worldwide language, designed to be easy to learn so that we do not have to sacrifice any of our cultural heritage to spend time learning it but also powerful enough that we can communicate with any other person on the planet as well we can with our own brethren. These are the new ideas swimming through my mind. These are my hopes and dreams for the world, but I can find no one around me who truly shares my optimism and can also provide reliable support. With no one to practice with, I find it difficult to improve my spoken fluency and my listening comprehension. As a person with a history of weak motivation, I find it difficult to maintain without any occasional external human support. It is true that the internet is there, and there Esperanto speakers are readily available, but my online friends cannot use guilt to my benefit in the way that friends who live with me everyday can. These social structures are present in all of our lives. Much of what you do is motivated by your own desires, but also supported by your friends and family in your times of weakness. While no one actively discourages my Esperanto study, no one partakes with me. So, though I continue to learn Esperanto little by little over the summer, I also start to look for the next language I will learn. Perhaps by learning a more popular language and taking a course I will at least have classmates to practice with.
After a summer back at Speed School I return to work in my CO-OP position. In my free time I have begun to learn basic meanings of Japanese characters and how to write them. I am drawn to Japanese because it is so vastly different from English. I considered Chinese, but up to this point I have given little thought to China and in a way, like much of the world, it does not even seem like a real place to me. I mean sure I know things about China. I like Chinese food, I know what the Chinese language sounds like to a degree, I know what Chinese people look like, I know of a few customs but I have no idea what the real China is like. But an event occurs that I could not have planned for; I find a little sister that I did not know I had. Now, this all changes.
I have heard little bits of information about my friend's roommate through my friend's messages on Facebook and through stories my girlfriend told me after visiting her college in Murray, KY. But really, all I know is that she is from China and she goes by the name Ivy. She has come home with my friend to see her hometown. I am excited for the opportunity to meet and talk to a person from a country so different from my own. The feeling as we talk is surreal and unique, but also familiar. I know this type of feeling. Having only been in the country for two months she still hesitates and speaks in somewhat broken English, yet I understand clearly everything she means to say. It is a rare and beautiful moment when you meet a person and know without a doubt that they will help shape the rest of your life.
Later in the evening Ivy, Allison and I are in the living room. I am sitting on the floor, Allison in a chair and Ivy, likely worn out from the travel and excitement of the day, is reclined on the couch. I am asking her about the Chinese language and she tries to explain to me its ancient history and beauty. She speaks of how the language, bound with tradition, has passed for thousands of years through the generations of Chinese people. After a few moments of talking she falls asleep, simply too exhausted to go on. I'll never forget the words she utters while passing into sleep, a single tear in the corner of her eye, “So beautiful. So historical.”
Though Murray is rather far from Louisville I am fortunate enough to be able to communicate regularly and visit a few times. Ivy, acting as a window into her motherland, allows me to have little glimpses into Chinese culture. When we visit her in Murray and while she stays in Louisville for winter break she often prepares simple but delicious homemade Chinese meals for us. Allison and I plan a trip to New York for Allison, Ivy, my friend, my friend's mother and I. Over spring break we attempt to explore the massive and magnificent city. Allison, Ivy and I spend one day on a search through Chinatown. I am excited to be able to understand a word or phrase here and there as Ivy asks street vendors where to find particular items. Not confident in my speaking abilities, I hesitate when the owner of a small market looks to me over the counter and says ”十七点四一美元。“ They laugh lightheartedly at the blank expression on my face as I try to be sure I heard correctly, but are surprised when I pull out the proper amount a moment later.
Through these experiences I only see little parts of what China is, but every bit I encounter inspires more wonder, curiosity and respect. From my attempts learning Esperanto I have learned about myself and what motivates me. My desire to learn Chinese has evolved from that spark of an idea three years ago to free my mind from a single language into a complex array of motivation and even a part of who I am. I am inspired to learn Chinese to further understand the culture, to become a part of the history and to speak to my little sister in her own language, but also for reasons I cannot identify with a simple word or concept. These reasons can only be explained through the story you have just read.

[1] Williams, N. (1965) 'A language teaching experiment', Canadian Modern Language Review 22.1: 26-28